OK. Let’s assume for a moment there is a God and there is an afterlife. I have been searching since before you were born for some safe and sane ideology; trying to know the unknowable. Now I am an aging man. I have learned that I don’t know very much. My expectation for myself is that I will go to the pearly gates, where I will be met by God himself. He will open the gates and smile. Then he will thump my forehead with his middle finger. He will say, in disbelief, “What were you thinking?” (He already knows, he just wants to hear another line of academic, side-stepping, blaming, and confusing bullshit from me.) This time I will respond with my “I don’t know” look. Then He will invite me in. I will see a bunch of people with red thump marks on their foreheads.
My best hope is that one day my tombstone will read: “He tried.”