Politicians declare support:
President Bush has once again taken decisive action. He is sending FEMA to Wall Street – someone told him there was a national disaster occurring in New Your City. Before the Generals arrived on the ground Bush allocated $700,000,000,000 to build a new Astrodome to house the scurrying bankers.
Six thousand mobile homes are being resurrected from the old cotton fields down home. Bush has ordered the National Guard to fill 85,000,000 sand bags. Proclaiming on National Television Bush declares, “Everybody do something, it it doesn’t work we can surge later.”
- This just in: Bush announced his weather forecasters had reported the storm would not strike until after January 20, 2009. With a chuckle to his side-kick, Dick Cheney, Bush laughed, “Hey DICK, get your shotgun and see what you can do over in Congress.”
- News Alert: Bush declares the border fence protecting American from migrant orange pickers is being moved to New York. “It worked down there, it will work up here. That border fence will keep the Chinese out until we can collect enough taxes to cover the deal.”
- McCain Campaign Alert: Sarah Palin, in an unscripted response to the Wall Street crisis, just announced, “Hee, Hee, Hee! Does this mean there is a sale at Macy’s?”
- Congress Checks Bush: The congressional leaders have taken a break from Capital Hill Cable News briefings to examine the planned Astrodome. Senator Reid declared, “We do not believe the President has adequately provided for bathrooms and fire exits.”
- McCain Blames Obama: “I was a POW. If Senator Obama had met with me in towh hall meetings we could have uncovered the disaster before it happened. Shame on you Senator Obama.”
- Palin Responds to Wall Street Corruption: “Hee, Hee, Hee, It is not like Domestic Violence you know, or we would have them all fired.”
- Biden identifies root of the problem: With unusual fervor Biden proclaimed, “The bad guys are not in Iraq, they are in the mountains between Afghanistan and Pakistan!”
- Obama is calm and Presidential in response: At a hastily called news conference in Las Vegas, Senator Obama proclaims, “Thank you. Thank you very much. I have to leave the building now.”
- Rednecks in Missouri Respond: All three of us is voting for Obama. Rednecks for Obama.
- Palin Announces Knowledge of Wall Street: “Hee, Hee, Hee, I know about Wall Street because it is in the same country as Alaska. And Todd said Alaska is bigger.”
And Barney Frank equated McCain to Mighty Mouse, coming to the rescue: