Redneck War Debate

About the Author

author photo

Ohg Rea Tone is all or nothing. He is educated and opinionated, more clever than smart, sarcastic and forthright. He writes intuitively - often disregarding rules of composition. Comment on his posts - he will likely respond with characteristic humor or genuine empathy. He is the real-deal.

See All Posts by This Author

Redneck War Debate

We called the television station down the road in St. Joe to ask about the debate.  We wanted to know what they was gonna ask those fellas, McCain and Obama.  They tode us that they is not asking any questions.  Someone in one of the big cities gets to ask the questions.  Well, we had our own debate last night in the Bait Shop.  Billy Bob owns the Bait Shop and he started the hole thing.

Billy Bob:  What you think McCain will do different on the killin over there in Iraq?

Bobby John: “I like that old man.  He reminds me of my grandpa. That old man gonna kick some donkey butt.”

John Boy: “I like the colored fella, what his name? Yomama? Any boy named after his moma caint be all bad.  He say we should not of oughta gone over to Iraq in the first place.  We don’t go shooting at the Hatfields unless they come over here and start something.

Bobby John: “Somebody came over here and broke the door on the chicken house.  We had to teach em a lesson.”

John Boy: “But is wasn’t no Iraqi come over here.  It was them other fellas.”

Bobby John: “But we caint find them, so we gots to shoot someone.  We got to show them over in Gentry County that we don’t tollerate no raiding our chicken house.”

John Boy: “If we shoot the wrong fella then what do we teach them bout us?  We either caint shoot straight or we don’t care who we shoot.”

Bobby John: “It was somebody over around that neighborhood.  We shoot one of em, they all learn.”

John Boy: “You just mad cause you lost the Turkey Shoot Contest down in Booneville last year.  What you tryin to prove, no how?”

Bobby John: “Ever body round here need to know they don’t come to Punkin Center and cause no trouble wif out paying a price.”

John Boy “But we just tode you the Iraqi folks did not come here no how.”

Bobby John: “Don’t make no difference, dont you see.  We got to show ever body we has guns and we will use them.  What about this, if the chicken coup was broke in to and cousin Billy Ray went over to Gentry County and shot one of the rascal McElroys to teach a lesson, would it make any difference if he shot the right fella?  Ain’t nobody like the McElroy’s no how, even their neighbors in Gentry County.  We get rid of a rascal and teach a lesson over in Gentry all the same time.”

John Boy: “Bobby John, I gots to go to Gentry County to get feed for my hogs.  I dont need them all mad at me so I has to carry my guns to get hog feed.”

Bobby John: “That is what I is trying to tell you.  If we show them we will shoot anyone then they will all leave us alone.  If they shoot one of us then the next time we will just send more guns.  We got more guns then they do.  They know they will loose.”

John Boy: “I ain’t worried bout they will shoot me.  I is worried they will be a a lot of trouble.  Like they is gonna poke holes in my truck tires or some other nonsense like that.  If we make people mad at us then they just keep coming around to piss on our flowers.”

Bobby John: “I think we sould get us one of them big dogs to put in the flower garden.  Tht will show them.”

John Boy: “But if we do that I gots ot go over to Gentry County to get dog food too.  I would rather get along wif my neighbors than try to run their life.”

Bobby John: “That is why I is voting for the old man.  He aint scared like you.

See: Rednecks for Obama

See: McCain is Coercive

Post a Response