We live in Missouri, rural Missouri. Down the road a piece, just over the hill and down through the holler, rests the country store. The folks like to sit around the pot belly stove and yack a bit. They only fire up the stove in the winter, but it is a comfort just to have around. We were there the other day and the good old boys was talking.
“I’m a gonna vote for that colored fella,” John Boy rambled.
“Why for you gonna do dat?” Hank said after a minute or two.
“Cause he gonna get me some health insurance.” John Boy beamed his most proud smile.
“Why for you need health insurance?” Hank snickered.
“Cause Fannie Mae said she gonna shoot me if I keeps coming around this store,” John Boy looped his thumb around his suspenders.
“You won’t need no health insurance cause the colored fella is gonna take the gun away from Fannie Mae.” Bobby John spit.
“Not this gun,” John Boy was scratching his hairy neck.
“How come not that gun?” Hank asked.
“It only shoots one bullet at a time.” John Boy beamed.
“Why would you need shoot more than one bullet, John Boy? Caint you hit nothin?” Bobby John looked surprised.
“Don’t know why you need more than one bullet?” Hank was wondering, ” But them city folks likes guns that shoot a lot of bullets.”
“She can’t shoot me no how,” John Boy said with calm assurance.
“How come?” Hank asked.
“Cause she ain’t got no bullets.” John Boy was picking some mud out of his shoe.
“Where’d da bullets go?” Bobby John was gitting down right curious.
“We used em all.” John Boy was as quick as ever.
“Git some more,” said Hank.
“Don’t got no money,” John Boy said matter of factly.
“How come you don’t got no money?” Bobby John seemed surprised.
“Cause I lost my job. They moved da factry to China,” John Boy hung his head.
“Maybe we should otta ask the Preacher.” Bobby John thought out loud.
“Already did,” John Boy answered. “He said it ain’t no concern of his cause I aint been paying my tithe.”
“Hmmm,” Hand pondered, “I Better vote for da colored fella too.”
“Who the Preacher gonna vote for, John Boy?” That was what Bobby John wanted to know.
“He gonna vote for the redneck.” John Boy sighed.
“How come he gonna do dat?” Hand mused.
“Cause the redneck said if he is elected he is going to hell with that A-rab. The Preacher said that is where you go for lying.”
Hey Rednecks of America – send a link to this post to all you redneck buddies.
Note from Editor: What color is Obama? He is the Color of Water.
See also: Rednecks for Palin, Wasilla, AA