Redneck Logic

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Ohg Rea Tone is all or nothing. He is educated and opinionated, more clever than smart, sarcastic and forthright. He writes intuitively - often disregarding rules of composition. Comment on his posts - he will likely respond with characteristic humor or genuine empathy. He is the real-deal.

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Redneck Logic

bush-mccain-rove-three stoogesOccasionally we have the opportunity to write something about our neighbors.  Billy Ray come over the other night and told us this story.  Who knows what to believe from a Redneck?

Two of my cousins, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history and logic.

“What’s logic?” asked Bubba.

The professor answered, “Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-whacker?”

“I sure do,” answered the redneck.

“Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard,” replied the professor.

“That’s real good,” the redneck responded in awe.

The professor continued, “Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house.”

Impressed, the redneck shouted, “AMAZIN’!”

“And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife.”

“Betty Mae! This is incredible!”

“Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual,” said the professor.

“You’re absolutely right! Why, that’s the most fascinatin’ thing I ever heard of! I cain’t wait to take this here logic class.”

Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting.

“So, what classes are ya takin?” he asks.

“Math, history and logic,” replies Bubba.

Cooter says, “What in tarnation is logic?”

“Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?”


“You’re a queer, ain’t ya?”

Anyway – they quit college and went fishing:

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