Actor, Director, Producer Mel Gibson is negotiating terms to take over leadership of the Tea Party in America. Every candidate must demonstrate proper character traits consistent with Tea Party advocates. Candidates must be willing to demonstrate these character traits in a very public manner – there should be no sense of shame or fear of reprisal. We believe Mel Gibson has taken the lead – even surpassing Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman.
In order to be fair we should finally document the previously assumed traits of character necessary to represent the Tea Party. Number one on the list would have to be the use of Christianity to justify positions of white supremacy. Wetbacks need not apply. Gibson has stated very publicly his faith in orthodox Catholicism – using his faith as justification for the bloody horror movie “Passion of the Christ”. The extreme brutality of the Christian propaganda served to promote Gibson’s hatred toward anyone resembling Moshe Dyan. Gibson promoted himself as the new Pope of America – advancing his Tea Party credentials.
A second but important trait is total hypocrisy. Gibson promotes his ‘family values’ identity to justify his white righteousness. The father of many – in his first marriage – and father of one in his new fling, recently demonstrated again his fundamentalist Christian belief: The woman in the relationship should keep her mouth shut – except for specific male uplifting.
While Gibson has emerged as the front runner for Tea Party control, he has yet to fully circle the wagons. As mentioned earlier Wetback need not apply for Tea Party membership, let alone any leadership position. But Gibson has not yet been able to include “Wetback” in any of his tirades. This is seen as a potential flaw in an otherwise well developed sense of superiority. Gibson has successfully, and true to his creative roots, used appropriate slurs such as nigger, spear chucker, sand nigger, Dune Coon, mud people, ape, Buckwheat, monkey, chink, spick, mick, canook, Gook, Jew boy, Bible Shortener, big nose, German Candle, Jewbacca, Yenta, Penny chaser, Bagle dog, Bronx indian, Christ killer, German Oven Mitt, Hickory smoked, hymie, Jewgaboo, Oven dweller, Pizza, Yiddiot, Dagos, and a few others of less important bottom dwellers.
With all of the evidence of white superiority Gibson has yet to convince the majority of Tea Baggers. The Year 2010 requires certainty on the subject of wetbacks. We have some advice for Gibson and others who aspire to Tea Party Leadership. Use these standard Tea Party terms when referring to Hispanics or Latinos or Mexicans – they are all the same. Try to work these terms into causal sentences: Border Nigger, Border Bunny, Chili Shitter, Drywaller, Fake Mexican, Gravebellies, Grease ball, Nethead, Pepper belly, Po-bean, Scratch-back, Spic, Taco Bender, and Tomato picker.
Colorful profanity is useful when describing anyone who is not at least third generation white American. Use profane words in conjunction with the aforementioned terms. Profanity can be used as pronoun, adverb, adjective, direct object, and exclamation point.
Gibson also fails to appropriately pause every third or fourth sentence and say “Praise Jesus.” Alternating “Praise Jesus” with “Do I hear an Amen” adds substance to traditional Tea Party rhetoric.
This just in: Gibson reportedly used a traditional Hispanic slur in his latest tirade. Gibson is stepping up his campaign to lead the Tea Party.
As an Aside:
A Mexican man walks into a bar full of white people.
Suddenly one of the white guys walks up to the Mexican guy and says…
“Hey you! Colored men aren’t allowed, much less welcome here!”
Then, the Mexican guy turns around and says to the white guy…
“Hey pendejo… When I was born, I was brown!”
“When I grew up, I was brown!”
“When I am sick, I’m brown!”
“When I’m in the sun, I’m brown!”
“When I’m in the cold, I’m brown!”
“And when I die, I’ll still be brown!”
“But on the other hand you, pendejo, when you were born, you were pink!”
“When you grew up, you were white!”
“When you’re sick, you turn yellow or even green!”
“When you’re in the sun, you turn red!”
“When you’re in the cold, you turn blue!”
“And when you die, you’ll turn purple!”
“And you have the nerve and the balls to call me a “colored man!?”