Hello, My Name is John Boehner And I Am An Addicted Politician

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Ohg Rea Tone is all or nothing. He is educated and opinionated, more clever than smart, sarcastic and forthright. He writes intuitively - often disregarding rules of composition. Comment on his posts - he will likely respond with characteristic humor or genuine empathy. He is the real-deal.

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Hello, My Name is John Boehner And I Am An Addicted Politician

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Oh! My! GOD!  I said it.  I actually accepted responsibility for my atrocious public service.  I am an addicted politician.  Like many others I thought I could control myself.  My hopes for the future of my golf game depended on my control over my tan – but again, vanity won and here I am.  I have finally reached the bottom.

It all started innocently enough.  After high school it took me nine years to get a bachelors degree.  Then I went to work at a small plastics and packaging company.  After some success I accepted a position as a Union Township Trustee in 1982.  As I reflect back I can see now that I lost control with the attention of the public.  My tan was glowing in the spotlight of public admiration.  But like all addicts, it was not enough.

We all think we can control it.  But one thing leads to another and then our ego swells with the potential of power and money – not to mention excessive time to develop our golf game.  Even with my new addiction I have been able to put aside an hour every day for proper tanning.   My biological system requires extra vitamin D.  With golf and tanning secured I ran for the State Legislature.  Normal people do not realize the infusion of ego that comes with a State wide office.  But like all political addicts it was not enough.

Congress beckoned.  I was elected to Congress in 1990.  It was a good time to be a Republican.  Our fortunes were made on the back of a distorted Reagan agenda and we rode the wave.  I remember Newt Gingrich talking up the 1994 Contract With America.  All I had to do was sign up, play some golf, work on my tan, and Newt mixed his potion of black magic.  We can see in retrospect that this potion led directly to the rise of Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, and their puppet George W. Bush.  All of us were filled with the emotional rush of power.  Bush won the 2000 election, in a manner of speaking, and my time had come.

We can see the results of political addiction.  I worked on education reform – and just look at our current education system.  No Child Left Behind was one of my greatest projects.  I worked hard on Congressional Ethics – and we can see the obvious results. Actually, I did not work too hard.  Usually when I finished my afternoon golf game I stopped by the Capital to see if anyone had done anything that day.  Sometimes there were other Republicans around who asked me to sign off on their bills.  As a result, my name is associated with most of the legislation passed during the George Bush Administration.

I worked hard to get tax cuts for rich people after the September 11, 2001 attacks.  I supported the Iraq War and agreed to borrow the money from China.  That way the Republicans look smart. We knew at the time that the Democrats would probably win the White House so we left them with a big mess – that way we can blame them for the problems.  I am told that this is how an active addiction influences thought processes.

My greatest pride was in the 2006 effort at securing pension protection laws to help people better prepare for tomorrow.  Now, in 2010, most Americans pensions and life savings are worth about half of what they were in 2006 when I fixed the pension problem.  Clearly American people have benefited in unexpected ways from my work.

The point is simple.  Addicted politicians will say anything to agree with their Party.  The Party in return gives you money.  Agreeing with no consideration for right and wrong, no consideration for the impact on our country, and no consideration for the American people is standard fare for politicians.

Now I find myself at a crossroads.  Do I continue golfing and tanning?  Does my leadership role in the Republican Party – the party of George W. Bush – interfere with my long established principles of self gratification?

My children are grown now.  I fear they have never known me with out the influence of politics.  I am told by the addiction professionals that this is normal.  The constant self-aggrandizing of the addict often interferes with family relationships.  I have now been an official Republican Politician for thirty years.  Am I proud?  Well, that depends.  Who is asking?  And what is their motive?

Thank you for taking time to listen to me.  This effort has convinced me that I actually don’t belong in this meeting.  My life is not unmanageable and the only higher power I care to turn my life over to is Mitch McConnell.  I am really not interested in a searching and fearless moral inventory.  And there are few people that I care to make amends to.  There is no way that I will commit to practicing Christian principles in every area of my life.

So there!

There Are 10 Responses So Far. »

  1. Would you be interested in exchanging blogrolls links with my site? Please email me if you are interested

  2. Interesting that you choose a Republican to bury with your latest tirade. Maybe you could stoke the flames of cultural conversation with something ubiased and informative, rather than doing exactly what you complained about in this article and selling out to your politcal comrades. Republicans are not the problem, career politicians, low voter turnout/lazy voters are. Senators are allowed to spend a lifetime in office and people will gladly vote for the person who promises the most (unless you are in office and the country has all but had it with you and your party and votes for anything but the same thing as what they are tired of). History is consistantly ignored and politicians who make promises are not held accountable. Short memories and the promise of “more for me” are the real problem that has created the very politicians you are unhappy with. The single biggest selling point that both parties have is to convince their constituants that everyone else is wrong period, and then convince the rest of the population that they will work in the best interests of everyone. It seems to me people put too much faith in what they say and not their records. Just ask the moderates and conservatives that voted for Obama.

  3. It is not my fault that John Boehner is a Republican – and it is not my fault that the Republicans elected him to the leadership position.

  4. And look at Obama’s record – he is definitely center left. Else why are all the left loonies harping about his performance?

    But this Frank Drebbin – I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment of career politicians – and the lazy or selfish voters who keep sending the political addicts back to run the government.

  5. He is far from center left, he is trapped by what all politicians are, the system itself. If elected officals really tried to do what they they proposed and the system allowed it we might actually see some real change (on both sides like it or not), not just marginal B.S. from both. The fact is you really cannot trust what they say, only what they do. Not only are the “loonies” as you put it harping, the rest of the country is too. Deny it all you want but the voters that truly believed in anyone they voted for are foolish, the only politicians that say what they actually belive they can do are the ones who have no experience. Obama is not the point but merely the example.

  6. Frank – Thanks for the commentary. Americans across this great nation apparently agree with you. There is an angry current sweeping this country – and for just cause. Most of us agree the system is broken. The big question is this: What can be done? How can we believe anything we hear in political campaigns – both sides do everything possible to distort or exaggerate their opponents positions.

    Perhaps some real campaign finance reform would help even the playing field between the career politicians and reasonable challengers.

  7. Ohg,

    I understand why campaign finance reform seems to be the way to resolve this, but it cannot only stop there. The guy with the most money gets the most publicity right? But there are too many other factors, like media bias, for example (the problem goes both ways depending on the station or the market). I cant claim to know how it is all done, and god knows I am tired of celebrities and their alway intelligent political advice. I would like to see a broader range of candidates at every election, not just two after primaries. Funneling all the money to one candidate that the commitee decides is the best consistantly takes away choice, and is frustrating, leading to people choosing the lesser of two evils.

  8. Frank,

    You have added value to our magazine. I find myself searching for a movement, similar to the Tea Party, that puts honesty and integrity above any one position on any one issue.

    Here is a question: Excluding the position taken on issues – Which of the nationally known politicians demonstrate integrity and honesty? Obama? Reid? Pelosi? Boehner? McConnell?

  9. Ohg,

    Which indeed; there is no one in that list I could agree with. The answer lies in the unknown politician not tied to a political party who can once elected, ward off the temptation of partisanship or special interests and solely focus on what is important too and needed for America itself; not individuals, races, gender or sexuality. I guess after hearing my own answer the only choice is obvious, Batman. (sorry, I had to say it, I cant be too serious all the time).

  10. laughing out loud – thanks Frank

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