A very fine young woman once said, “Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a handsome young golfing partner.  You can keep the clubs and the fresh air.”

If you have a hard time meeting new people just try picking up the wrong golf ball.

“I’ll bet there are people worse at golf than me.”  “Sure there are, but they don’t play.”

Golf is a great game.  You can spend you whole life with hookers and your wife does not say a thing.”

Golf has made more liars of Americans than the IRS.

What goes putt-putt-putt-putt?  A bad golfer.

I’m doing great with my golf game.  This morning I hit a ball in one.

A new golfer is getting a golf lesson.  The golf instructor says, “Let me see you grip the club and swing.  But don’t hit the ball.”  ” I already know how to do that.  Let’s go on to the second lesson.”

I almost made a hole in one today.  I only missed by six strokes.

There was a golfer who always cheated.  One day he got a hole in one so he put a zero on his card.

Nothing counts in golf like your opponent.