Court Jokes
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Gary L. Clark is an author. After a thirty year career he retired to write a novel. He then joined a counselor-in-training program at the local community mental health center and worked three years as a substance abuse counselor. He retired again and has written two more novels. He recently completed the annotation of a self-help book on faith-based self-help. Two published novels (available on address social justice. Mr. Clark is the Editor of He lives in St. Joseph, Missouri.

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Court Jokes

Once there were two gay judges.  They tried each other.

Just think of it this way.  When you are on trial you are being judged by twelve people not smart enough to avoid Jury Duty.

A man is brought in for stealing a pair of shoes.  The judge says, “You were in here last year for the same offense.”  The man says, “How long can a pair of shoes last?”

Greg was on trial for armed robbery.  The jury found him not guilty.  Greg jumped to his feet, “Does this mean I can keep the money?”

A blonde lady asked for a divorce because she said that her husband had not been faithful.  The judge asked, “How do you know he was not faithful?”  She said, “I just had a baby and it does not look like him.”

The judge looks sternly at the defendant, “I thought I told you I did not want to see you again.”  The man says, “I told the policeman but he would not believe me.”

Courts are weird.  The lock up the jury and the defendant goes home.

A man is charged with forgery.  He says, “I can’t even sign my own name.”  The Judge retorts, “You are not charged with signing your own name.”

The jury is being convened.  A woman is questioned and she says, “I am opposed to Capital Punishment.”  The Judge says, “This is a case of a man taking the money his wife was saving for a new dress and losing it at the casino.”  The woman responds, “Maybe I can change my mind about Capital Punishment.”


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