Congress Jokes

The Democrat and the Republican Congressmen were arguing.  One said, “I’ll bet you five dollars you do not even know the preamble to the Constitution.  The other said, “I pledge allegiance to the United States….”  The first interrupted and said, “I didn’t think you would know it,” and handed over five dollars.

“He’s so conservative he doesn’t even burn the candle at one end.”

A conscience is that small inner voice that reminds Congress that someone is watching.

Our Congressman came home to visit.  He went to every ghetto golf club.

They ran him for Congress.  It got him out of town.

I don’t understand why Congressmen want to adjourn to go home.  If I were them I would be embarrassed to go home.

Did you ever wonder what Congressmen do for a living?

God would not make a good Congressman.  He would have to rest on the second, third, fifth and seventh day.

A new house member said, “You fell like the son of an Arabian Shaikh who just gave you 72 virgins for whatever pleasure. It is not that I don’t know what to do – I just do not know where to begin.”

One Congressman wanted to be added to Mount Rushmore but they did not have room for two more faces.

My Congressman is a real politician – he can say absolutely nothing and mean it.

A statesman is a Congressman who did not get caught.

Elections should be held on Christmas.  If we don’t like what we get we can exchange them.

I don’t make jokes.  I just watch Congress and report the facts.

A conservative is a liberal who got mugged.

In U.S. elections most people pick the winner.




Gary Clark

Gary L. Clark is an author. After a thirty year career he retired to write a novel. He then joined a counselor-in-training program at the local community mental health center and worked three years as a substance abuse counselor. He retired again and has written two more novels. He recently completed the annotation of a self-help book on faith-based self-help. Two published novels (available on address social justice. Mr. Clark is the Editor of He lives in St. Joseph, Missouri.

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