Archive for Gary Clark
Gary L. Clark is an author. After a thirty year career he retired to become a writer. He has written three novels, one is published He recently completed the annotation of a self-help book on faith-based self-help. Mr. Clark is the Editor of thefiresidepost.com. He lives in St. Joseph, Missouri.
Smoking Alcohol – No Calories and No Brains
Drugs and alcohol – the elixirs of a giddy walk down the path of doom and despair – have many different modes of ingestion. Until about five hundred years ago alcohol and drugs caused few problems for mankind. It was about that time that some Chinese bricklayer working on a really big wall discovered that […]
7Jun2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Smoking Alcohol – No Calories and No Brains | Continued
Congress Jokes
The Democrat and the Republican Congressmen were arguing. One said, “I’ll bet you five dollars you do not even know the preamble to the Constitution. The other said, “I pledge allegiance to the United States….” The first interrupted and said, “I didn’t think you would know it,” and handed over five dollars. “He’s so conservative […]
3Jun2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Congress Jokes | Continued
Birds Nesting Around My Home
I like birds. Yes, I like chicken and turkey and quail and pheasant, but I also like the birds that never visit on Thanksgiving. St. Joseph, Missouri, is located on the migratory trail of many of the mid west traveling birds. My home is particularly inviting to summer nesting. There are many varieties of plants […]
25May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Birds Nesting Around My Home | Continued
Suicide – The Burden of the Village
Most of us have some experience with suicide – someone we know has taken their own life. Such a death is difficult in every possible manner. Families cry together. Distraught disbelief overwhelms us. Our emotional system is shocked to the core. We feel personally defeated. We often feel we have failed, failed our loved one […]
25May2013 | Gary Clark | 3 comments | Continued
The Cruel Hoax of Fanatics
Our dog is something of a rescue dog – she was turned over to a veterinary clinic with a gash on her head and one eye-ball literally hanging out. We took responsibility for the dog ($800 over two years). We do not know her age. Obviously we know she suffered some trauma in her life. […]
18May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on The Cruel Hoax of Fanatics | Continued
Trash Talk – The Elixir of Human Life
My predecessor at thefiresidepost.com, Ohg Rea Tone, was entertaining – if not always correct. He slung sarcasm like a pig in a sty. Mr. Tone recognized the elixir of human life was trash talk. Those moments in life when humans harmoniously agree on everything are just the one minute break between rounds. We can tell […]
18May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Trash Talk – The Elixir of Human Life | Continued
Nostalgia from the Left and the Right – Shallow Thinking Prevails
The baseball player was right about one thing – Nostalgia is not what it used to be. Rewriting history to favor any particular opinion is not new or unusual. What is different is the opportunities of expression. Social media, for example, allows for immediate dissemination of whatever nonsense is popular at the moment. Little effort […]
9May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Nostalgia from the Left and the Right – Shallow Thinking Prevails | Continued
My God is Better Than Your Allah
Mr. Clark is sick today so I come in to write for him. My name is Ohg Tone. He say I can write what I want so I going to write about what is wrong with this world the way I see it. My God is better than that fella called Allah. I had a […]
3May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on My God is Better Than Your Allah | Continued
Corresponding With an Inmate in the Missouri Department of Corrections
Geez – corresponding with an inmate in the Missouri Department of Corrections can be very rewarding – and very frustrating. I am learning the rules as we go. My friend Joey is serving time for his fourth DWI. I do not dispute the sentence – DWI is a serious offense. Driving while intoxicated is responsible […]
1May2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
The Agenda of Theological Seminary – a False Prophet
Crystal Gayle would sing, “Now I go down this wrong road again, going back to where I’ve already been”. That should be the theme song for theological seminary. The purpose of theological seminary is to frame the nonsense of juvenile teachings about religion in a more adult manner. I am going to paint with a […]
30Apr2013 | Gary Clark | 4 comments | Continued
On Alcoholics Anonymous – A Letter From Prison
Corresponding with an inmate in the Missouri prison system can be rewarding – and it can be heartbreaking. My friend Joey is again in prison. Joey is not a criminal – but four DUI’s will get anyone some time behind bars. I met Joey when he was in Drug Court. He was my client. As […]
22Apr2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
12 Step Sayings, One Day at a Time
The first book under the publishing imprint of The Fireside Post is now available on Amazon.com. Search Amazon books for “12 Step Sayings” to quickly find the book. Or click here Over 720 slogans and sayings from 12 Step Programs have been organized by date – from January 1 through December 31. Easy to understand, […]
16Apr2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on 12 Step Sayings, One Day at a Time | Continued
Prop 8 As A Catalyst For Positive Change
Irony is afoot. The latest polls show that there are now more Americans supporting Gay Marriage than before the turbulent reaction to California’s Proposition 8. Proposition 8 is a California initiative which denies the right of same sex couple to marry. I have to ask, “Why?” Why this swift change in ideology? What argument is […]
27Mar2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Prop 8 As A Catalyst For Positive Change | Continued
Drunk Jokes
A local City Council is thinking of closing the bars earlier. If you can’t get drunk by midnight you are not trying. A man should learn that martinis and a woman’s breasts have a lot in common. One isn’t enough and three is too many. A man recently went on a drinking man’s diet. He […]
15Mar2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Drunk Jokes | Continued
Men Jokes
A man is happily married. He has a wife who works while he stays home, a wife who cooks, and a wife who has sex like rabbits – Hopefully they will never meet. Some men say they can understand women. They are either psychiatrists or in need of one. A dietician was lecturing on the […]
15Mar2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
Grand Canyon Toenails and Grease Bombs
Like humans, the Colorado River traverses the path it carved. The Grand Canyon is the ultimate in manifest Karma. A harsh, brutal, climate created some of the greatest wonders on this planet. For some reason people like to go there. We like to float down the river. We like the danger of the rapids, the […]
7Mar2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
The Conumdrum of the 2nd Amendment in the Post Modern Era
We humans have crossed a threshold, a military threshold. When the Constitution and Bill of Rights were written there was an equality of arms between a ‘militia’ and any government. Governments of that era did have canons – but these were of limited mobility and accuracy. Most militia men living along the Potomac did not […]
5Mar2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
Physician Jokes
Doctors are brilliant. They cure poor people faster. My doctor told me I had two weeks to live. I hope they are not in August. The receptionist said, “Let me get your medical history. Do you pay your bills on time?” When a doctor wants a consultation that means he is calling in an accomplice. […]
2Mar2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Physician Jokes | Continued
Court Jokes
Once there were two gay judges. They tried each other. Just think of it this way. When you are on trial you are being judged by twelve people not smart enough to avoid Jury Duty. A man is brought in for stealing a pair of shoes. The judge says, “You were in here last year […]
1Mar2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Court Jokes | Continued
The Allegory of the Forest – Carl Jung’s Collective
There are no more trees. No more forested wildlife. Humans no longer have terms for forest or wildlife. The Earth was deforested many years ago. Some older adults remember playing in the woods. No pictures, photographs, exist. There are many drawings by children. Some drawings are done in pencil, others in water colors – some […]
28Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on The Allegory of the Forest – Carl Jung’s Collective | Continued
Golf Jokes
A very fine young woman once said, “Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a handsome young golfing partner. You can keep the clubs and the fresh air.” If you have a hard time meeting new people just try picking up the wrong golf ball. “I’ll bet there are people worse at golf than me.” […]
28Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Golf Jokes | Continued
Demons – Jesus and Jung
Another question to the Jungian psychologist – Jesus cast out demons, how does this relate to Jung? How might these demons be the same or different? My friend is a Jungian psychotherapist – He and I read much of the same material – but he is way ahead of me on Jung – so I […]
27Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Demons – Jesus and Jung | Continued
Jung and Alcoholism and Drug Addiction
Carl Jung was a genius on the level of Albert Einstein. Jung might say that he and Einstein were able to tap their unconscious and the collective unconscious for what appear to be ideas of the human imagination. Jung’s work now defines an entire branch of modern psychology – in his lifetime he captured the […]
18Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Jung and Alcoholism and Drug Addiction | Continued
Farm Jokes
I met a farmer who was a magician. He turned a cow into a field. We were in the country, standing by wishing well. My wife fell in. I had no idea those things really worked. What this country needs is a lie detector that seed catalogs can take. We tried mating cows and mules […]
18Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Farm Jokes | Continued
Famous Last Words
I don’t burn. I tan. Is there anything that I can do? General Custer commanded, “Men, don’t take any prisoners!” If you had any brains or ambition you would not be a traffic policeman. Give me a match, I think the tank is empty. Take off your clothes, the doctor will be with you in […]
15Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Famous Last Words | Continued
Elephant Jokes
Why does the elephant wear red sneakers.? So he can hide in the strawberry patch. How do you get six elephants in a Ford Focus? Three in the front and three in the back. Why do elephants have flat feet? So they can stand on marshmallows. Why do elephants stand on marshmallows? So they won’t […]
15Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Elephant Jokes | Continued
Ego Humor
He’s not egotistical. He just loves intelligent people. He collects his own autographs. Some people think they know everything. They irritate those of us who do. His marriage was a triangle: Him, his wife, and him. He never takes a hot shower, it clouds his mirror. He found his better half in a mirror. Fall […]
15Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Ego Humor | Continued
The Gun Control Debate is no Longer About Guns
The vitriolic language from the far right over Second Amendment rights tells a story beyond the fear of losing the right to a thirty round clip in the favorite 9mm semi-automatic hand gun. This debate is not about guns – this debate is about fear of government. That is one way to say it – […]
14Feb2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
Celebrating Ignorance In Missouri
Ok, I admit, I live in Missouri. For many years I justified this existence by saying I was close to my family. That defense is losing ground. Missouri is not an unusual “Red State” (meaning it votes new age Republican). My thought is that Missouri is representative of that whole block of right wing fanatics […]
1Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Celebrating Ignorance In Missouri | Continued
Gabrielle Giffords is a Real Champion
Wow, check out Gabrielle Giffords testifying before congress. The former Representative from Arizona was seriously wounded last year is one of those now obnoxious shootings that have come to be common in America. Ms. Giffords suffered extensive brain trauma when a bullet passed through her head. She has come to testify before Congress – to […]
30Jan2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Gabrielle Giffords is a Real Champion | Continued
Retired? How Do You Know?
I live in Missouri, northern Missouri. I tell people that I am one generation removed from hillbillies – which means my parents were most likely rednecks, and it follows that I am a redneck too. Or was. I went to college and the rednecks disqualified me. Anyway, I know some hillbillies, rednecks, and the watered […]
27Jan2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Retired? How Do You Know? | Continued
The Demise of Ohg Rea Tone
Ohg Rea Tone has passed nine months hither. His demise was non-dramatic, no violence or accidents, just worn out. Some say he was haggard, a value judgment Mr. Tone would have found appropriate. Mr. Tone was a son, a brother, a father, and a grandfather – yet he had no family. Mr. Tone was well […]
26Jan2013 | Gary Clark | 2 comments | Continued
Courtroom Humor
This was copied from a facebook post. We fid humor to be refreshing – humor helps keep our sanity from a complete meltdown. Enjoy. HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES???? These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down […]
9May2012 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Courtroom Humor | Continued