Category:Culture | The Fireside Post Culture | The Fireside Post
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Culture

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Donald Trump Late Night jokes

“Yesterday, Donald Trump said, ‘If I lose, I don’t think you’ll ever see me again.’ So finally, a Trump campaign slogan we can all get behind.” –Conan O’Brien

24Oct2016 | | Comments Off on Donald Trump Late Night jokes | Continued
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More Donald Trump Jokes

“Over the weekend, three pages of Donald Trump’s 1995 tax return were leaked, revealing that he declared a $916 million loss from his three Atlantic City casinos. That’s right. Donald Trump lost money on casinos. You know what they say, ‘The house always loses.’” –Stephen Colbert “You started your campaign by accusing Mexicans of being […]

24Oct2016 | | Comments Off on More Donald Trump Jokes | Continued
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My First Tattoo

Oceanside, California, is located on the border of Camp Pendleton, that really big Marine base.  I was there.  Not Camp Pendleton, Oceanside.  It was 1969 and I was doing what I would later learn was called a ‘walkabout’.   I was drifting with the wind, facing the draft, Vietnam, adulthood, and ultimately responsibility.  Oceanside was […]

26Sep2016 | | 1 comment | Continued
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BREAKING NEWS!!!

BREAKING NEWS!!:  We just realized today that, based on historical statistics, our mortality may be in jeopardy.  Seriously, we cannot support the idea of immortality with any historical facts.  And even more serious – aren’t these statements obvious!  So why did I start with “BREAKING NEWS!!!” I was born at about the same time as […]

21Sep2016 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Donald Trump Jokes

“Last night, Donald Trump said if he’s elected, he will employ a ‘deportation task force.’ It’s not really necessary, because if he’s elected most people will probably leave voluntarily.” –Conan O’Brien “The Boston Globe just reported that according to his campaign staff, Donald Trump wouldn’t take any vacations as president. I think that’s because he […]

15Sep2016 | | Comments Off on Donald Trump Jokes | Continued
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“Undocumented Immigrants” Are Not Criminals

There are graduated laws identifying the seriousness of offense. The undocumented immigrant ‘violation’ is in the nature of a misdemeanor – more like a traffic violation than an armed robbery. Our system of justice uproots lives and sends someone to prison in only the most egregious of violations. To uproot and deport someone on the […]

5Sep2016 | | Comments Off on “Undocumented Immigrants” Are Not Criminals | Continued
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Clinton Trump Debate Can Go Off The Rails

WOW!  We are in for a treat.  Maybe I should restate that – if we like fireworks we might like the Clinton Trump Debates.  If we like the idea of diplomats debating world affairs we are probably not going to enjoy the evening.  Let the debates begin – with more potential for fireworks than any […]

30Aug2016 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Ignorant Voters Challenge One’s Sanity

I actually know some of these people.  This conversation showed up on my facebook page.  These people are angry because Obama will not let them vote a ‘split ticket’ in the August Primary Election.  They throw terms around like “constitutional rights”  and “denied the right to vote”.  These people are Trump supports and they are […]

5Aug2016 | | 4 comments | Continued
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Oh Lord Won’t You Give Me?

I loved and love Janis Joplin. I like the song she sang, Mercedes Benz, because it reminds me of a Church I attended with a friend when I was about 16. It was located in South St. Joseph. There was a neon sign outside proclaiming PENTECOSTAL SOMETHING OR OTHER CHURCH. A bright white two story […]

31Jul2016 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Refried Beans In My Chili

OK – right up front, I am an anomaly.  Just about every group of people that I run across eventually figures this out.  This reality struck me yesterday when I was thinking about supper.  Bored and not willing to invest the time in some cuisine of taste and health I rummaged around in my pantry, […]

22Jun2016 | | 2 comments | Continued
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White Suits

Mark Twain enters my mind, Takes a seat, and I become his front porch.   For a man with such great potential Of explosive wit and verbiage– He says nothing as he strikes A match…   …And lights a fine Cuban cigar.   The sun is shining brightly so That the white suit he so […]

21Jun2016 | | 1 comment | Continued
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My Practicality

  My practicality is a pesky little imp. Like a gremlin sabotaging my Creativity.   My creativity rests in the bosom Of Mystery; And this fair lady–she always beckons.   She pleads with me to embrace her, Ungrip the secure and chase her.   And I start to run–   But I find myself tethered. […]

9Jun2016 | | 3 comments | Continued
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Once Upon a Time in St. Joe

Once Upon a Time in St. Joe The dross falls away and she stands revealed. I have been talking at length with a dream. The coal train moves on; her rails course the fields. The nights fall, the conversations appeal, We meet for coffee, she takes hers with cream. The dross falls away and she […]

5Jun2016 | | 4 comments | Continued
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Josh Has Joined thefiresidepost.com

Josh was once a good boy.  He lost his way.  We find him today hanging out with the outlaw of his family – Ohg Tone. Seriously, Josh is my nephew, and a fine writer.  I have watched him over the years, watched him grow in to a young man, watched him explore religion, watched him […]

31May2016 | | 2 comments | Continued
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My Curiosity Defeats My Timidity

As the title eludes, I like to think I have a defense from fear. Many long years ago, my eldest son was about three. Our yard was fenced in and the best place for him and his sister to be in the summer. Our house was not air-conditioned.  This particular day I was visiting with […]

28May2016 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Where is Woody Guthrie

It was hot. And dry. The wind blew and a dust storm raged. People finally just started calling it a dust bowl. The Midwest was overwhelmed with drought, the country overwhelmed with depression. People got tired. They got hungry. They got desperate. They could not feed their children. But they heard a story, a story […]

15May2016 | | 4 comments | Continued
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The “Shoulds” of Life Have Me Down

I have been a responsible man for most of my life.  Some would challenge that point – because my failures have stood out like atomic bombs.  As a Senior Citizen I don’t face too many life changing events or decisions.  But I do have some responsibilities and those become the burrs under my saddle – […]

10Apr2016 | | Comments Off on The “Shoulds” of Life Have Me Down | Continued
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Karma and Life Lessons

Shorthand, I know what it is, but can’t read it. Many years ago at Lowy Enterprises. I received a promotion to work with Dave in Accounts Receivable. At high school I refused typing and shorthand because I didn’t plan on being any man’s secretary, Hah. So, one of my new jobs was to take dictation […]

5Apr2016 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Our Social Media Audience Influences What We Share

Coming to you straight from St. Joseph, Missouri – a place I call home.  Our homes are built on many years of experience.  What appears to be clutter is often a memory of time gone by.  Most of my social media ‘friends’ are from around northwest Missouri.  St. Joseph schools educated me, work took me […]

3Mar2016 | | 2 comments | Continued
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Another Senseless Death from Drug Addiction

Another young man from St. Joseph died this past weekend – apparently from long term drug addiction.  I knew him.  I knew him when he was about seven years old.  I also knew his family.  He was second generation drug addict.  Not his parents, as far as I know, but many of his aunts and […]

2Mar2016 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Mixed Blessings, Home Remodeling, and painting the carpet

I have been furiously cleaning house for visitors over the holidays.  I am faithful about this chore, every eleven years I clean the house whether it needs it or not.  This time it is so bad that I decided the best way to cover the dirt was to simply paint it. I have been painting […]

22Dec2015 | | Comments Off on Mixed Blessings, Home Remodeling, and painting the carpet | Continued
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Jelly and Rocket Science

Someone I love has a favorite expression, “it’s not rocket science”, he will say this when someone is having difficulty understanding his direction. Last Summer I attempted to make Elderberry Jelly. It had been nearly two decades since the last time I made this loved delicacy. Nearly every where I have lived as an adult, […]

19Dec2015 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Does Race Really Matter?

Transcript from Walla Walla Union Bulletin, Walla Walla, Washington December 20, 1950 Seattle (AP) – A blow on the head with a baseball bat in a neighborhood altercation was fatal Tuesday to Merritt Scotten, 33 year old Seattle pipe fitter. He died of a skull fracture Saturday night. Leon W. Venson 28 a neighbor has […]

25Nov2015 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Barking Dogs and Refugees

Nearly thirty years ago, I was living through a particularly rough patch of life. My husband and I were divorcing. All the usual ugliness that comes with divorce was going full force. My family was literally diminishing before my eyes. My oldest son was in the Navy on board the USS Forrestal which was in […]

18Nov2015 | | 0 comments | Continued
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The Cost of Illegal Immigration

Sometimes, I think with my heart and project my motherly instincts and experiences in an effort to understand others. In the case of illegal immigrants, I have often thought, if I were a Mexican mother living in the deplorable poverty and enduring the crimes that, reportedly, occur in Mexico. If the opportunity came, I would […]

13Nov2015 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Starbucks vs Christmas Cheer or Lack of

OK, here’s my tilt on the subject. I don’t recall Starbucks declaring an affinity to any religion. Not that they haven’t, I just haven’t heard anything about it. They are a business in the business to make money by making coffee. I have never had a Starbucks product. Probably never will, I find spending more […]

12Nov2015 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Ben Carson Humor – 2015

Ben Carson is that neuro guy – which seems to be an enigma given his loose tongue.  No matter – there are some really creative people running around with high tech opportunities to mix humor, politics, and technology. Enjoy:  

9Nov2015 | | Comments Off on Ben Carson Humor – 2015 | Continued
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Walking the Roof of Methodist Hospital – Circa 1972

It was literally ‘the good old days’.  Data Processing.  No MIS or IT or IS.  We processed data – and the data came in the form of punched cards.  Everything was ‘batch’ processing – almost no ‘real time’ interaction.  But that is an aside for the purposes of this post.  This story is about walking […]

17Oct2015 | | 3 comments | Continued
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Political Correctness – Applying Manners Across The Board

I grew up in a lower class mixed race neighborhood.  At age twenty-two, with no college training, I went to work in an office, wearing a coat and tie.  I was rude and crude.  But I have to say that by today’s standards we were all somewhat rude and crude – times change and polite […]

14Oct2015 | | Comments Off on Political Correctness – Applying Manners Across The Board | Continued
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Mr. Mullinax

I was once a young man, in a land far away. Well, about two miles from where I sit today.  Methodist Hospital hired me as a Computer Operator three weeks before my first child was born.  Actually, Larry Koch hired me – he was the Computer Operations Manager.  His boss was John Mullinax.  John was […]

13Oct2015 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Quotes from Yogi Berra

1. “It ain’t over till it’s over.” 2. “It’s deja vu all over again.” 3. “I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.” 4. “Never answer an anonymous letter.” 5. “We made too many wrong mistakes.” 6. “You can observe a lot by watching.” 7. “The future ain’t what it used to be.” […]

24Sep2015 | | Comments Off on Quotes from Yogi Berra | Continued
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Ladies and Gentlemen, Germans and Gents….

Another song from childhood: Ladies and gentlemen, Germans and gents, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants, I come before you because I am not behind you to tell you something I know nothing of. One bright day in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each […]

6Sep2015 | | Comments Off on Ladies and Gentlemen, Germans and Gents…. | Continued
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A Horse, A Flea, And Three Blind Mice

I learned this song as a child, taught it to my children and some grandchildren. A horse and a flea and the three blind mice were sitting on a tombstone rolling dice, the horse fell down and landed on the flea, oops said the flea there’s a horse on me. Boom Boom aint it great […]

6Sep2015 | | Comments Off on A Horse, A Flea, And Three Blind Mice | Continued
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Hammering Bill Cosby

Judd Apatow is a comedian – with skills perhaps not equal to Bill Cosby – but astoundingly accurate when portraying the beleaguered comedian. Apatow uses Cosby’s own style to hammer home a point – a point that must be made. This routine is entirely appropriate and dead on: Here is the link  

21Jul2015 | | Comments Off on Hammering Bill Cosby | Continued
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick! BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period. JOHN McCAIN: My […]

12Jul2015 | | Comments Off on Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? | Continued
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When Sadness Overwhelms Us

All of us experience grief.  As children we see our grand parents pass.  We lose our pets, great aunts and uncles.  We lose games of school sports.  We fail to make the team.  These are the experiences that help prepare us for the more grave loss of parents, siblings, spouses.  Sadly some of lose our […]

11Jun2015 | | Comments Off on When Sadness Overwhelms Us | Continued
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Blonde Jokes

“An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake… He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’ The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, […]

31May2015 | | Comments Off on Blonde Jokes | Continued
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Stupid Jokes (jokes about being stupid)

Captured from the internet: Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. ‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter. ‘You don’t?’ I replied. ‘We only have six, […]

31May2015 | | Comments Off on Stupid Jokes (jokes about being stupid) | Continued
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Puns

We picked these up from the internet: .. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. .. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. .. The batteries were given out free of charge. .. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. .. A will is a dead giveaway. .. […]

28Jan2015 | | Comments Off on Puns | Continued
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“It Was So Cold…” (Cold Jokes)

From the internet: It was so cold . . . we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues! It was so cold… hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs! It was so cold… roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and […]

8Jan2015 | | Comments Off on “It Was So Cold…” (Cold Jokes) | Continued
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The Absurdy Of Private Humor

My friend has a girlfriend – she lives in another State.  I assumed that refers to geography rather than a mindset.  He told me that he called her and they talked for two hours.  He called the next day and she reported that she is running out of minutes so she cannot talk again until […]

10Dec2014 | | Comments Off on The Absurdy Of Private Humor | Continued
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Sexting, The Secret Codes of Youth

I am right up front on this one.  I had no idea.  But this should come as no great surprise to anyone.  Perhaps a degree of initial shock – but after some brief contemplation – not surprising.  R U getting this?  The coded language of texting and internet chatting had to contain sexual references.  Sex […]

9Dec2014 | | Comments Off on Sexting, The Secret Codes of Youth | Continued
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Thanksgiving Jokes

Gobble these up~ Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? A: Plymouth Rock Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? A: Pilgrims Q: Why can’t you take a turkey to church? A: They use FOWL language. Q: Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? A: It had 24 […]

22Nov2014 | | 1 comment | Continued
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A Fan’s Guide to Baseball Lingo

From a friend’s facebook post: Baseball Basics: Lingo A fan’s guide to commonly-used terms and phrases. ace — A team’s best starting pitcher. alley– The section of the outfield between the outfielders. Also “gap.” around the horn– A double play going from third base to second to first. backdoor slider — A pitch that appears […]

26Oct2014 | | Comments Off on A Fan’s Guide to Baseball Lingo | Continued
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Emotional Disturbances of a Friend

My friend is having emotional disturbances in his live – again.  I recognize this as his problem – but still I feel sadness.  He has lost his family over bitter disagreements about child raising.  He attends a therapy group where he can talk about what happened.  He reports his findings.  There are several in the […]

28Jul2014 | | Comments Off on Emotional Disturbances of a Friend | Continued
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Golf Jokes

1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead ——————————————————————————– 2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett ——————————————————————————– 3. Actually, the only time I […]

28Jun2014 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Why Immigration Today Has Racial Overtones

I know some of the folks opposed to open immigration – they are friends and relatives – people opposed to open immigration.  These are people who are frustrated when anyone suggests their opinions are ‘racist’.  They throw up their arms in defiance – accusing ‘those liberals of always playing the race card’.  But not so […]

6Apr2014 | | Comments Off on Why Immigration Today Has Racial Overtones | Continued
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Surrender – Man’s Eternal Conflict

Surrender is personal.  Every day we are faced with decisions that concern surrender.  We surrender to traffic laws, to office protocols, to the School Evening Program of our children, to the irritable clerk at the grocery store, to unwritten codes of conduct spelled out by our particular culture.  Sometimes we surrender to our base instincts […]

27Mar2014 | | Comments Off on Surrender – Man’s Eternal Conflict | Continued
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When My Mind is Racing

Most of the folks who read my posts recognize my natural inclination toward self-righteous sarcasm.  I know that sarcasm is toxic – Mr. Clark (the Editor) tells me almost every day.  Sarcasm does serve to drive home a point.  But there is a cost to being the negative reflection of the world around us.  And […]

24Mar2014 | | 2 comments | Continued
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Irish Humor

One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep. “Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory” Paddy shook his head. “Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat […]

11Mar2014 | | 1 comment | Continued