Category: Wit and Wisdom
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Wit and Wisdom

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Life Lessons, Set In Concrete

The ‘twoness’ of humanity is all around us.  The good and the bad, the yin and the yang, the frailty of human character.  My father, as I have said before, was both a great man and a monstrous brute.  I do not know if his greatness won the final battle – but I suspect it […]

13Dec2017 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Twoness, The Paradox of Parenthood

I am a young Senior citizen.  As such one might deduce that my parents were part of “the greatest generation”.  That would be correct.  My parents grew up during the depression.  My father fought in World War Two.  Have I mentioned that there were seven children in my family?  My mother stayed home to raise […]

7Dec2017 | | 0 comments | Continued
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No Yellow Ribbons Here

What are some words used to describe me?  Intense, forceful, resolute, aggressive, difficult, stubborn, unyielding, Aries – You get the idea – My history is one of confrontation and unforgiving in-your-face anger. There are regular videos on facebook of soldiers returning home unannounced to reunite with their families.  The families choke up and well with […]

5Dec2017 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Thomas Franklin, New Fireside Contributor

Thomas Franklin and I became friends in 2006.  He was an inpatient at a Substance Abuse Treatment Center where I served as a counselor.  That program was a 21 day residential care.  There was a stipend program at the Center.  This allowed up to two clients to remain residents, receive free food, and free intensive […]

2Dec2017 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Equality Is Not Tangible

I am all for equality between the sexes. Always have been, I guess. As a Baby Boomer, I have seen a whole lot of it not being that way. Equality is easily defined on paper and somehow in life it gets spread out, the lines get blurred and more difficult to find the easy divisions […]

16Nov2017 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Who Pulled Your Chain

Pardon my OCD a moment please. Sometimes I get intrigued (my chain gets pulled) by words and/or phrases I hear or read. The phrase in question “Shut your mouth your mind is hanging out” was spoken by one cowboy to another in a movie my husband was watching yesterday evening and I, by consequence, was […]

25Oct2017 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Kansas City City Market, Beignet, and Moody Football Fans

We invested a day at the Kansas City City Market.  Today, in fact.  A Sunday and the Chiefs are playing – but we have a DVR and are recording the game.  We are at the market to meet family and are hoping that we do not inadvertently hear the score of the game.  We did […]

17Sep2017 | | 0 comments | Continued
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It’s a Cat’s Life

I have a barn/porch cat, her name is Skeeter aka Trouble, who would dearly love to be an indoor/outdoor cat. Especially on cold days, 60 degrees appears to be her cue to want in.  She is in this predicament, because after being in the house for several months, or a year, I forget, she became […]

10Sep2017 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Chief’s Football Analysis by PEG

Well….I must comment on the KC Chiefs victory last night. Those of you who know me well….after being a lifetime fan, who remembers watching the Chiefs Win the Super Bowl in 1970, know the Chiefs lost my unconditional love after they lost 1998 AFC Divisional Home Game (13-3, home field advantage, 1st round bye) to […]

10Sep2017 | | 0 comments | Continued
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A Visit To The ER

I cut my finger.  Or perhaps I should say my finger was in the way when the door was closing.  I thought for a moment the finger was broken but it turned out to be only a bone deep cut.  My deductible for an ER visit is seventy-five dollars – what to do?  After a […]

12Jun2017 | | 0 comments | Continued
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AARP Is A Communist Plot To Destroy America!

Allow me to first reveal my bias.  I am a member of AARP.  I am over sixty years old.  I am a male.  I am educated.  I know how to type.  There!  Now you know my background.  AARP is very obviously a communist plot to destroy America.  We need only look at the AARP Bulletin, […]

16Mar2017 | | 2 comments | Continued
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Terror Pranks By Brothers

It was 1955.  I remember because I was on the receiving end of an older brother prank.  (I have said before that I come by my  prank-ing personality honestly – this is an example).  In previous posts I tried to explain my pranks on my younger brothers in a manner that most excuses my errant […]

31Dec2016 | | 2 comments | Continued
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Older Brothers and Pranks

Whether I come by my fascination with pranks honestly or not is sometimes irrelevant. I say ‘honestly’ because I come from a family of pranksters.  And my two older brothers often tested their pranks on me. What was I to do, I passed the pranks on to my younger siblings. Like the time when I […]

30Dec2016 | | 2 comments | Continued
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A 1964 Christmas Story

It was 1964. Life hadn’t been great for the girl, but this particular year had been mostly a nightmare. Her Mother and Step-Father had separated. Finances were next to non existent. School for the girl became a burden on the mother. At only 15 she was resigned to possibly never finishing high school. She was […]

12Dec2016 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Artistic Interpretation of Trump Victory

Ben Franklin was a Founding Father who used political cartoons as a means of persuasion.  With biting with he would cause a person to reflect and reconsider.  And that was not his day job.  Some people are just naturally gifted at imagery and symbolism used a tools for thoughtful discourse.  I am no expert on […]

13Nov2016 | | Comments Off on Artistic Interpretation of Trump Victory | Continued
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My Psychiatric Nerve

I have problems; always have had, likely always will.   One of the problems is in naming my problems.  Naming problems is categorically dependent.  When naming a problem, do I use the language of religion, psychiatry, layman, political party – or some variation of modern self-help-ism.  As with most spoken words it depends on the audience. […]

7Nov2016 | | Comments Off on My Psychiatric Nerve | Continued
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New Fireside Post Format

Well, here we are, almost ten years into the grand experiment of a father and son chat on the internet.  We quickly became thefiresidepost.com and have had a couple of major upgrades since.  My son, the Administrator of this magazine, got a new job, went back to school, had more children, yadda, yadda… He became […]

27Oct2016 | | Comments Off on New Fireside Post Format | Continued
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Donald Trump Late Night jokes

“Yesterday, Donald Trump said, ‘If I lose, I don’t think you’ll ever see me again.’ So finally, a Trump campaign slogan we can all get behind.” –Conan O’Brien

24Oct2016 | | Comments Off on Donald Trump Late Night jokes | Continued
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More Donald Trump Jokes

“Over the weekend, three pages of Donald Trump’s 1995 tax return were leaked, revealing that he declared a $916 million loss from his three Atlantic City casinos. That’s right. Donald Trump lost money on casinos. You know what they say, ‘The house always loses.’” –Stephen Colbert “You started your campaign by accusing Mexicans of being […]

24Oct2016 | | Comments Off on More Donald Trump Jokes | Continued
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BREAKING NEWS!!!

BREAKING NEWS!!:  We just realized today that, based on historical statistics, our mortality may be in jeopardy.  Seriously, we cannot support the idea of immortality with any historical facts.  And even more serious – aren’t these statements obvious!  So why did I start with “BREAKING NEWS!!!” I was born at about the same time as […]

21Sep2016 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Donald Trump Jokes

“Last night, Donald Trump said if he’s elected, he will employ a ‘deportation task force.’ It’s not really necessary, because if he’s elected most people will probably leave voluntarily.” –Conan O’Brien “The Boston Globe just reported that according to his campaign staff, Donald Trump wouldn’t take any vacations as president. I think that’s because he […]

15Sep2016 | | Comments Off on Donald Trump Jokes | Continued
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Oh Lord Won’t You Give Me?

I loved and love Janis Joplin. I like the song she sang, Mercedes Benz, because it reminds me of a Church I attended with a friend when I was about 16. It was located in South St. Joseph. There was a neon sign outside proclaiming PENTECOSTAL SOMETHING OR OTHER CHURCH. A bright white two story […]

31Jul2016 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Refried Beans In My Chili

OK – right up front, I am an anomaly.  Just about every group of people that I run across eventually figures this out.  This reality struck me yesterday when I was thinking about supper.  Bored and not willing to invest the time in some cuisine of taste and health I rummaged around in my pantry, […]

22Jun2016 | | 2 comments | Continued
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White Suits

Mark Twain enters my mind, Takes a seat, and I become his front porch.   For a man with such great potential Of explosive wit and verbiage– He says nothing as he strikes A match…   …And lights a fine Cuban cigar.   The sun is shining brightly so That the white suit he so […]

21Jun2016 | | 1 comment | Continued
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My Practicality

  My practicality is a pesky little imp. Like a gremlin sabotaging my Creativity.   My creativity rests in the bosom Of Mystery; And this fair lady–she always beckons.   She pleads with me to embrace her, Ungrip the secure and chase her.   And I start to run–   But I find myself tethered. […]

9Jun2016 | | 3 comments | Continued
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Once Upon a Time in St. Joe

Once Upon a Time in St. Joe The dross falls away and she stands revealed. I have been talking at length with a dream. The coal train moves on; her rails course the fields. The nights fall, the conversations appeal, We meet for coffee, she takes hers with cream. The dross falls away and she […]

5Jun2016 | | 4 comments | Continued
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Josh Has Joined thefiresidepost.com

Josh was once a good boy.  He lost his way.  We find him today hanging out with the outlaw of his family – Ohg Tone. Seriously, Josh is my nephew, and a fine writer.  I have watched him over the years, watched him grow in to a young man, watched him explore religion, watched him […]

31May2016 | | 2 comments | Continued
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My Curiosity Defeats My Timidity

As the title eludes, I like to think I have a defense from fear. Many long years ago, my eldest son was about three. Our yard was fenced in and the best place for him and his sister to be in the summer. Our house was not air-conditioned.  This particular day I was visiting with […]

28May2016 | | 0 comments | Continued
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The “Shoulds” of Life Have Me Down

I have been a responsible man for most of my life.  Some would challenge that point – because my failures have stood out like atomic bombs.  As a Senior Citizen I don’t face too many life changing events or decisions.  But I do have some responsibilities and those become the burrs under my saddle – […]

10Apr2016 | | Comments Off on The “Shoulds” of Life Have Me Down | Continued
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Karma and Life Lessons

Shorthand, I know what it is, but can’t read it. Many years ago at Lowy Enterprises. I received a promotion to work with Dave in Accounts Receivable. At high school I refused typing and shorthand because I didn’t plan on being any man’s secretary, Hah. So, one of my new jobs was to take dictation […]

5Apr2016 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Mixed Blessings, Home Remodeling, and painting the carpet

I have been furiously cleaning house for visitors over the holidays.  I am faithful about this chore, every eleven years I clean the house whether it needs it or not.  This time it is so bad that I decided the best way to cover the dirt was to simply paint it. I have been painting […]

22Dec2015 | | Comments Off on Mixed Blessings, Home Remodeling, and painting the carpet | Continued
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Jelly and Rocket Science

Someone I love has a favorite expression, “it’s not rocket science”, he will say this when someone is having difficulty understanding his direction. Last Summer I attempted to make Elderberry Jelly. It had been nearly two decades since the last time I made this loved delicacy. Nearly every where I have lived as an adult, […]

19Dec2015 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Does Race Really Matter?

Transcript from Walla Walla Union Bulletin, Walla Walla, Washington December 20, 1950 Seattle (AP) – A blow on the head with a baseball bat in a neighborhood altercation was fatal Tuesday to Merritt Scotten, 33 year old Seattle pipe fitter. He died of a skull fracture Saturday night. Leon W. Venson 28 a neighbor has […]

25Nov2015 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Barking Dogs and Refugees

Nearly thirty years ago, I was living through a particularly rough patch of life. My husband and I were divorcing. All the usual ugliness that comes with divorce was going full force. My family was literally diminishing before my eyes. My oldest son was in the Navy on board the USS Forrestal which was in […]

18Nov2015 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Starbucks vs Christmas Cheer or Lack of

OK, here’s my tilt on the subject. I don’t recall Starbucks declaring an affinity to any religion. Not that they haven’t, I just haven’t heard anything about it. They are a business in the business to make money by making coffee. I have never had a Starbucks product. Probably never will, I find spending more […]

12Nov2015 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Ben Carson Humor – 2015

Ben Carson is that neuro guy – which seems to be an enigma given his loose tongue.  No matter – there are some really creative people running around with high tech opportunities to mix humor, politics, and technology. Enjoy:  

9Nov2015 | | Comments Off on Ben Carson Humor – 2015 | Continued
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Walking the Roof of Methodist Hospital – Circa 1972

It was literally ‘the good old days’.  Data Processing.  No MIS or IT or IS.  We processed data – and the data came in the form of punched cards.  Everything was ‘batch’ processing – almost no ‘real time’ interaction.  But that is an aside for the purposes of this post.  This story is about walking […]

17Oct2015 | | 3 comments | Continued
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Political Correctness – Applying Manners Across The Board

I grew up in a lower class mixed race neighborhood.  At age twenty-two, with no college training, I went to work in an office, wearing a coat and tie.  I was rude and crude.  But I have to say that by today’s standards we were all somewhat rude and crude – times change and polite […]

14Oct2015 | | Comments Off on Political Correctness – Applying Manners Across The Board | Continued
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Mr. Mullinax

I was once a young man, in a land far away. Well, about two miles from where I sit today.  Methodist Hospital hired me as a Computer Operator three weeks before my first child was born.  Actually, Larry Koch hired me – he was the Computer Operations Manager.  His boss was John Mullinax.  John was […]

13Oct2015 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Quotes from Yogi Berra

1. “It ain’t over till it’s over.” 2. “It’s deja vu all over again.” 3. “I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.” 4. “Never answer an anonymous letter.” 5. “We made too many wrong mistakes.” 6. “You can observe a lot by watching.” 7. “The future ain’t what it used to be.” […]

24Sep2015 | | Comments Off on Quotes from Yogi Berra | Continued
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Ladies and Gentlemen, Germans and Gents….

Another song from childhood: Ladies and gentlemen, Germans and gents, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants, I come before you because I am not behind you to tell you something I know nothing of. One bright day in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each […]

6Sep2015 | | Comments Off on Ladies and Gentlemen, Germans and Gents…. | Continued
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A Horse, A Flea, And Three Blind Mice

I learned this song as a child, taught it to my children and some grandchildren. A horse and a flea and the three blind mice were sitting on a tombstone rolling dice, the horse fell down and landed on the flea, oops said the flea there’s a horse on me. Boom Boom aint it great […]

6Sep2015 | | Comments Off on A Horse, A Flea, And Three Blind Mice | Continued
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Hammering Bill Cosby

Judd Apatow is a comedian – with skills perhaps not equal to Bill Cosby – but astoundingly accurate when portraying the beleaguered comedian. Apatow uses Cosby’s own style to hammer home a point – a point that must be made. This routine is entirely appropriate and dead on: Here is the link  

21Jul2015 | | Comments Off on Hammering Bill Cosby | Continued
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick! BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period. JOHN McCAIN: My […]

12Jul2015 | | Comments Off on Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? | Continued
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Blonde Jokes

“An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake… He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’ The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, […]

31May2015 | | Comments Off on Blonde Jokes | Continued
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Stupid Jokes (jokes about being stupid)

Captured from the internet: Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. ‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter. ‘You don’t?’ I replied. ‘We only have six, […]

31May2015 | | Comments Off on Stupid Jokes (jokes about being stupid) | Continued
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Puns

We picked these up from the internet: .. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. .. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. .. The batteries were given out free of charge. .. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. .. A will is a dead giveaway. .. […]

28Jan2015 | | Comments Off on Puns | Continued
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“It Was So Cold…” (Cold Jokes)

From the internet: It was so cold . . . we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues! It was so cold… hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs! It was so cold… roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and […]

8Jan2015 | | Comments Off on “It Was So Cold…” (Cold Jokes) | Continued
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The Absurdy Of Private Humor

My friend has a girlfriend – she lives in another State.  I assumed that refers to geography rather than a mindset.  He told me that he called her and they talked for two hours.  He called the next day and she reported that she is running out of minutes so she cannot talk again until […]

10Dec2014 | | Comments Off on The Absurdy Of Private Humor | Continued
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Sexting, The Secret Codes of Youth

I am right up front on this one.  I had no idea.  But this should come as no great surprise to anyone.  Perhaps a degree of initial shock – but after some brief contemplation – not surprising.  R U getting this?  The coded language of texting and internet chatting had to contain sexual references.  Sex […]

9Dec2014 | | Comments Off on Sexting, The Secret Codes of Youth | Continued