humor
Trash Talk – The Elixir of Human Life
My predecessor at thefiresidepost.com, Ohg Rea Tone, was entertaining – if not always correct. He slung sarcasm like a pig in a sty. Mr. Tone recognized the elixir of human life was trash talk. Those moments in life when humans harmoniously agree on everything are just the one minute break between rounds. We can tell […]
18May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Trash Talk – The Elixir of Human Life | Continued
Drunk Jokes
A local City Council is thinking of closing the bars earlier. If you can’t get drunk by midnight you are not trying. A man should learn that martinis and a woman’s breasts have a lot in common. One isn’t enough and three is too many. A man recently went on a drinking man’s diet. He […]
15Mar2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Drunk Jokes | Continued
Men Jokes
A man is happily married. He has a wife who works while he stays home, a wife who cooks, and a wife who has sex like rabbits – Hopefully they will never meet. Some men say they can understand women. They are either psychiatrists or in need of one. A dietician was lecturing on the […]
15Mar2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
Physician Jokes
Doctors are brilliant. They cure poor people faster. My doctor told me I had two weeks to live. I hope they are not in August. The receptionist said, “Let me get your medical history. Do you pay your bills on time?” When a doctor wants a consultation that means he is calling in an accomplice. […]
2Mar2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Physician Jokes | Continued
Golf Jokes
A very fine young woman once said, “Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a handsome young golfing partner. You can keep the clubs and the fresh air.” If you have a hard time meeting new people just try picking up the wrong golf ball. “I’ll bet there are people worse at golf than me.” […]
28Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Golf Jokes | Continued
Farm Jokes
I met a farmer who was a magician. He turned a cow into a field. We were in the country, standing by wishing well. My wife fell in. I had no idea those things really worked. What this country needs is a lie detector that seed catalogs can take. We tried mating cows and mules […]
18Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Farm Jokes | Continued
Famous Last Words
I don’t burn. I tan. Is there anything that I can do? General Custer commanded, “Men, don’t take any prisoners!” If you had any brains or ambition you would not be a traffic policeman. Give me a match, I think the tank is empty. Take off your clothes, the doctor will be with you in […]
15Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Famous Last Words | Continued
Elephant Jokes
Why does the elephant wear red sneakers.? So he can hide in the strawberry patch. How do you get six elephants in a Ford Focus? Three in the front and three in the back. Why do elephants have flat feet? So they can stand on marshmallows. Why do elephants stand on marshmallows? So they won’t […]
15Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Elephant Jokes | Continued
Ego Humor
He’s not egotistical. He just loves intelligent people. He collects his own autographs. Some people think they know everything. They irritate those of us who do. His marriage was a triangle: Him, his wife, and him. He never takes a hot shower, it clouds his mirror. He found his better half in a mirror. Fall […]
15Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Ego Humor | Continued
Courtroom Humor
This was copied from a facebook post. We fid humor to be refreshing – humor helps keep our sanity from a complete meltdown. Enjoy. HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES???? These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down […]
9May2012 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Courtroom Humor | Continued