All Posts Tagged With: "redneck"
Toyota Should Hire A Redneck
Toyota should hire a Redneck – that is the advice from the General Store in Punkin Center, Missouri. We were talking the other day about fixing old cars when Billy Ray said straight out that someone needs to do some fixin on new cars. Billy Ray claims that just about any old Redneck could have [...]
11Mar2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | 0 comments | Continued
Redneck Logic
Occasionally we have the opportunity to write something about our neighbors. Billy Ray come over the other night and told us this story. Who knows what to believe from a Redneck?
17Feb2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | 0 comments | ContinuedRedneck Ingenuity – or Schizophrenic Engineering?
I know rednecks. I should. I am one generation removed from hillbillies. Around these parts people who are one generation removed must go through the redneck phase – and sometimes that phase lasts a couple of generations. I am known as a half-breed because I obtained a formal university education. Even my redneck friends will [...]
5Feb2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | 2 comments | Continued
The Redneck, The Italian, and The German
A redneck an Italian and a German were captured by the French. All convicted – they were sentenced to death by the guillotine.
The Italian was led to the platform and given one last opportunity say his last words. He said, “Long live Italy.”
The French put his head on the block and let the blade fall. [...]
Redneck Gazette –
Redneck Gazette
Fifth Edition
Stimulating Economics
Stimulating Economics
Ohmydidhesayjihad
We is having some trouble figuring out what we is hearing. We got us a new President hoping that he would fix the problems this country is having. We don’t know nothing about economics. We only know that we should save more than we spend.
We [...]
Redneck Gazette – Fight the Bad Guys
Redneck Gazette
Fourth Edition
Get The Bad Folks
> Osama Bin Laden
George Bush Fails
Well, Ronald Reagan said, “There you go again.” And here we go again. Osama Bin Laden, that fella what kicked our butts in New York back in 2001, is poking at us again.
This [...]
Redneck Gazette – Obama New President
Redneck Gazette
Third Edition
Punkin Center, Missouri, BR-777
Obama Wins Presidency!
Obama Bring Hope
A Time of Despair
Obama done gone and won more votes to be the 44th President of the United States of America. And the electors in college like him best too.
We was pretty sure that [...]
4Nov2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | 0 comments | ContinuedRedneck Gazette – Obama Uses Common Sense
Redneck Gazette
Second Edition
Punkin Center, Missouri, BR-777
Obama Uses Missouri Common Sense
Fannie Mae is goin fishing
We been listening to that fella Barack Obama. It sounds like he uses plain old Missouri Common Sense.
Figure this out. Obama is talking about that over on Wall Street. We think that [...]
3Nov2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | 0 comments | ContinuedRedneck Gazette – Obama Gonna Win
Redneck Gazette
Election Prediction
Obama Gonna Be President
McCain Goes Home
It looks like this here election is a done deal. That fella from Illinois attracted most of the people. And we can tell you why. Because he did a better job – that is why.
Some folks [...]
Old Women Talk Politics
My mother is eighty-five years old. She has been living alone the past two months after my father, her husband of sixty-three years, passed away. She asked me to help refinish her dining room table – and what are you gonna’ do? So I sanded an polished while she sat and talked. I was surprised [...]
2Nov2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | 6 comments | ContinuedMissourians For Obama
Is it Missourians or Missourites? We never know. We live in Punkin Center, Missouri, and we are voting for that Chicago politician, Barack Obama. Generally we don’t take much to Chicago politicians, but this fella seems different. Down the road in St. Joe the Newspaper just came out for that McCain boy. We figured they [...]
26Oct2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | ContinuedRednecks for Obama
We live in Missouri, rural Missouri. Down the road a piece, just over the hill and down through the holler, rests the country store. The folks like to sit around the pot belly stove and yack a bit. They only fire up the stove in the winter, but it is a comfort just to have [...]
21Oct2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | 57 comments | ContinuedWanted: Leadership, Not Beer Buddies
Way back when this writer was a young man, we used to stop at the local watering hole to soak up some suds with our beer buddies. Joe Six Pack was always the first to arrive, and the last to leave. After two or three cold ones we could solve most of the world problems. [...]
10Oct2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | ContinuedRednecks For Palin, Wasilla, AA
“How come we don’t got two names like my cousins in Punkin Center, Missouri?” Jed was pondering out loud.
“Cause down in Missouri they all gots the same first name, they gots to have two names so’s they can tell each other apart,” responded Jeb.
“Well how come my cousins down in Punkin Center is gonna vote [...]
Redneck Bait Shop and Bank Loans
Bobby John scratched his beard, pondering. Then he said, “Billy Bob, you sure being quite.”
Billy Bob sat behind the counter of the Bait Shop, his usual post when the boys showed up for some palaver. The stool squeaked as Billy Bob leaned on the counter, “We aint been doing so good here at the bait [...]
Redneck War Debate
We called the television station down the road in St. Joe to ask about the debate. We wanted to know what they was gonna ask those fellas, McCain and Obama. They tode us that they is not asking any questions. Someone in one of the big cities gets to ask the questions. Well, we had [...]
26Sep2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | 0 comments | ContinuedRedneck Loan Sharks
We was run out of the general store cause we talk too much politics. So we is now hanging out at the Bait Shop. It’s good cause they expect us to lie.
Bobby Joe: Where is Hank these days, ain’t seen him around much?”
Bobby John: He decided to start a bank.
Bobby Joe: How’d he do?
Bobby John: [...]

