Son,

I feel a little embarrassed about giving advice on parenting. Your mother and I were talking last week and we both felt that our children turned out pretty well – in spite of us.

I talk today about acting out of love – but that was not really my style. I was a parent in much the same way that I was parented. My behavior was not thoughtful or considerate – It was dogmatic – not written dogma – but the dogma of my family of origin.

It is only in retrospect that I can see the truth. So sometimes I feel a little hypocritical about giving any advice on parenting. I learned the most from my mistakes – not so much from my successes.

They say insanity is hereditary – you get it from your children. My love of my children forced me to assess myself and my behavior. Any sanity I have today is the result of an honest evaluation of what I did as a parent of young children.

Your mother and I were too young to have children. We had no idea of who we were, let alone any understanding of what we should be teaching others. We talk. We both agree that we were too young. But neither of us would do anything different because we are both so proud of our children. Well – there are a few things I would do different – but my regrets inform my person today.

Dad