Housewives; House…Husbands?
Dad,
My wife was reading a book a while back and there were some interesting points about language and the way that we relate to our family. I only read the parts that she showed me, so i don’t have an entire picture of the subject material, but a couple of things stuck with me. One was that we have moved into a culture of “stay-at-home moms” and even “stay-at-home dads,” and we have vilified the idea of a “housewife” as being derogatory. While there have been huge strides in gender equality, I think that this shift in language is an unfortunate consequence. I like to think that my role at home is one that supports my wife, and she and I raise our children. My role at home is not to support my children and report the progress to my wife over dinner. The focus has become the children rather than the spouse, and I think that this can be hard on a marriage. I know that dwelling on semantics can be a poor investment of my energy, but I also think that not evaluating your language can have consequences too.
Bryan.
Comment by ariahfine on 21 September 2007:
It’s tough. I hadn’t thought about it, but I can understand why the term ‘house…’ can have carried negative implications. However, I still think househusband is probably fine. I also wonder if ‘homemaker’ might convey an appropriate view?
Let me know what you decide, cause your my role model in this househusb-Stay-at-home-homemaker-thingy…
peace.
Comment by Dawn on 21 September 2007:
Even the term “working mother” is redundant. I don’t know any parent that isn’t a worker…make that a parent involved in the lives of his/her children. But I don’t know how many “working fathers” there are; it doesn’t seem to need clarifying. Whose business is it anyway who works or who doesn’t??
Comment by Ohg Rea Tone on 21 September 2007:
Dawn – I love you girl
Comment by tandu-la on 11 June 2009:
Kid-raisers & Money-makers
labeling and name calling is entirely redundant, as you say.
because one such label, only refers to one aspect of ones temporary station in life.
Right now, you are at once an artist, editor of a widely read website, husband, father, driver, chef, son, … what else … in there somewhere your circumstances allow you the good fortune of also being all of this while not having to expose your artistic soul to the unforgiving corporate world.
Should your circumstance truely dictate by one label how you see yourself or present yourself to others … the House Spouse?
Would that make your wife the out-of-house Spouse, or the office-spouse, since her circumstance dictates most of her time be spent
at an office?
What about her being, woman, daughter, mother, friend, intellectual, good companion, friend, driver, chef … and the list goes on.
Call me what you will, no one label will ever pin down who or what I am, nor you.