Son,

Healthy spirituality – what is it?  What does it look like?  What is at the root?  A discussion like this leads to a discussion on generally healthy behaviors.  This leads to discussion on co-dependency, drug addiction, and other destructive behaviors.  Notice how I conveniently lumped different maladies together?  This is where the discussion often gets derailed.

People who work in the counseling guild often refer to Christian behaviors as being maligned with co-dependency.   The title of this posts makes a suggestion – the truth is that unhealthy spirituality can caused by co-dependency.

Co-dependency is an often misused and misunderstood term.  Most often misused and misunderstood by those who work in the business of counseling.  Any erratic behavior is lumped in the category of the ‘disease’ of co-dependency.  This convenience is nothing less than job security for those folks.

But unhealthy spirituality goes hand in hand with co-dependency.  Consider these traits – self-sacrifice, martyrdom,  giving to others at the expense of self.  Co-dependency is an extreme – unhealthy spirituality is an extreme.  Power and Control – we will make others behave according to our values, or rescuing and enabling – we will sacrifice ourselves for our fellow man.

Prince Charming could have any girl in the kingdom – but the co-dependent has to have the girl who is guarded by the two-ton dragon.  He must put himself on the line for the sake of the damsel in distress.

In our fairy tale culture – we call this nobility.  If Mother Teresa sacrifices her life for others we call her a Saint.

Where is the balance of sanity?

Dad