I have been furiously cleaning house for visitors over the holidays.  I am faithful about this chore, every eleven years I clean the house whether it needs it or not.  This time it is so bad that I decided the best way to cover the dirt was to simply paint it.

I have been painting my dining room this past week.  As I gained confidence with a steady hand, the drop cloth fell farther behind.  My handy plastic paint pail has served me well.  It took me a week of coffee breaks around short bursts of energy to paint the trim on four doors and two hall ways leading to and from the dining room. Sadly, I tried some less expensive paint – which means that I had to apply two coats.  I have not saved any money and I have to work twice as hard.  Nearing completion of the trim work I switched from the paint pail to the roller pan.  My idea was that I could use the pan as a pail and then immediately pick up the roller when the trim was complete.  I attached the roller pan to the step ladder just like those little legs suggest might be appropriate.

When I was a young man I was known for being quick and nimble.  I was never a big man – on the short side of average and about 160 pounds.  I jogged and played racquetball and was a regular at the local YMCA.  When I was a young man.  Today I am old and fat and slow and clumsy.  The only blessing is that I am now more patient.  I am generally smarter today than in my youth – at least I am less inclined to take chances with my health, i.e. I don’t climb high ladders.  But hey, that six foot step ladder seemed reasonable.  I only had to climb two steps to reach the ceiling.  And I have been very careful on those two steps.  The problem was when I decided to move the ladder.

With the paint pail I just set it aside, moved the ladder, and all was well.  With the roller pan attached I saw no reason to remove the pan – so I tried moving the ladder with the roller pan, half full of paint, attached.  Clumsy.  I bumped something and the pan came crashing down.  Remember that drop cloth that had fallen behind the work?  I decorated the carpet with paint that was no where near the same color as the carpet.  Imagine an old, fat, slow, and clumsy man in a panic.  The words fail me.

Get a rag.  Wet the rag.  The paint is latex.  It might wash up.  It is too thick.  Get a roll of paper towels.  Soak up the paint.  Get a trash can to put the dripping towels in.  Soak some more.  Yikes!  The paint is soaking into the carpet.  What to do???  I did two full rounds of stretching and cardio workout before I came up with the best idea.  Get the carpet cleaner.  It uses hot water and will dilute the paint and pick it up.  Actually, the carpet cleaner was a good idea.

Sadly, I wore out before the carpet cleaner.  I am having a cup of coffee while sitting at my computer trying to find something positive in the day’s events.  Finding something positive is something I have been working on for a while in my old life.  Well, I did get a good stretching workout.

And realistically, that carpet is old.