All Posts Tagged With: "redneck"
My Curiosity Defeats My Timidity
As the title eludes, I like to think I have a defense from fear. Many long years ago, my eldest son was about three. Our yard was fenced in and the best place for him and his sister to be in the summer. Our house was not air-conditioned. This particular day I was visiting with […]
28May2016 | Nancy Belle | 0 comments | Continued
Redneck Christmas Shopping
Sorry folks, this is no joke. There are redneck jokes, and those jokes work because they point out the lack of sophistication of a class of people. For instance, you might be a redneck if you go to family reunions looking for girls. Humor is found in the absurd, the ludicrous, the unexpected. Redneck jokes […]
1Dec2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Redneck Christmas Shopping | Continued
Famous Last Words
I don’t burn. I tan. Is there anything that I can do? General Custer commanded, “Men, don’t take any prisoners!” If you had any brains or ambition you would not be a traffic policeman. Give me a match, I think the tank is empty. Take off your clothes, the doctor will be with you in […]
15Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Famous Last Words | Continued
The Gun Control Debate is no Longer About Guns
The vitriolic language from the far right over Second Amendment rights tells a story beyond the fear of losing the right to a thirty round clip in the favorite 9mm semi-automatic hand gun. This debate is not about guns – this debate is about fear of government. That is one way to say it – […]
14Feb2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
Jef Foxworthy on Being a Missourian
(This was taken in its entirety from an email). Missouri according to Jeff Foxworthy: If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t even work there, you may live in Missouri. If you’ve worn shorts and a jacket at the same time, you may live in Missouri. … If you’ve had […]
5Jan2013 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Jef Foxworthy on Being a Missourian | Continued
Old Women Talk and Gay Marriage
My mother is eighty-five years old. She has been living alone the past two months after my father, her husband of sixty-three years, passed away. She asked me to help refinish her dining room table – and what are you gonna’ do? So I sanded and polished while she sat and talked. I was surprised […]
7May2012 | Ohg Rea Tone | 8 comments | Continued
Crude Men Jokes
Sorry folks. Sometimes things just strike me as funny. Certainly I recognize that jokes can be offensive, can promote prejudice, can alienate others, and can frankly make some people very angry. Racial and ethnic jokes have long gone by the wayside in the interest of political correctness. I get it. I understand the sensitivities of […]
2Jul2011 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Crude Men Jokes | Continued
Inside The Minds of Rednecks – And Consequences
I recently had breakfast and invested my Saturday morning with a Redneck. It was not his idea. My truck needed repair and I wanted a sure fix. A sure fix that did not cost me a bundle of anxiety and an empty pocket book. (Pocket Book is a funny term). I’ll call my Redneck friend […]
24Aug2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | 32 comments | Continued
Ohg’s Nephew Goes To College In South Missouri
I have a nephew. Several actually. But one has just graduated from high school in Virginia and has chosen to attend the University of Missouri at Rolla. Rolla is one of the top engineering schools in the country. But Rolla is also in South Missouri – the home of Rush Limbaugh. I was compelled to […]
26Jun2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | 3 comments | Continued
Problems With Oil Leaks – Call A Redneck
From the AP (Anything Possible), Punkin Center, Missouri. Most every morning the boys meet at the General Store to solve the world problems. No problem is too big for a certified Redneck. And the General Store gang is composed of certified Rednecks. The Store has a garage out back – some call it a shade […]
5Jun2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Problems With Oil Leaks – Call A Redneck | Continued
Rednecks Talk Intelligent Design
I stopped in the General Store this morning. When I walked through the door I was wondering, why does Billy Ray call this store ‘General.’ I know he was from the South and his relatives fought in the war with the North – maybe one of them was a General or something. Anyway, before I […]
3May2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Rednecks Talk Intelligent Design | Continued
Was Sarah Pa-ling Born In China?
This just in from the Nomadic View: Sarah Palin was born in China. The evidence is mounting. Why did Sarah Pa-ling resign as Governor of Alaska? What are the residency requirements in Alaska? Just what is Sarah Pa-ling’s story? Pa-Ling was born in China – as the picture clearly proves. Watch her closely – do […]
28Apr2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Was Sarah Pa-ling Born In China? | Continued
Racists and Birthers Are Not Just Dim-Witted Rednecks
In 1776 immigration was unchecked in the American colonies. The people living here decided to form their own government and bypass the King’s tax man. Those folks wrote some rules that defined our form of Government and who was eligible to hold office. The President had to be a natural born citizen – meaning that […]
1Apr2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Racists and Birthers Are Not Just Dim-Witted Rednecks | Continued
Toyota Should Hire A Redneck
Toyota should hire a Redneck – that is the advice from the General Store in Punkin Center, Missouri. We were talking the other day about fixing old cars when Billy Ray said straight out that someone needs to do some fixin on new cars. Billy Ray claims that just about any old Redneck could have […]
11Mar2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Toyota Should Hire A Redneck | Continued
Redneck Logic
Occasionally we have the opportunity to write something about our neighbors. Billy Ray come over the other night and told us this story. Who knows what to believe from a Redneck?
17Feb2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Redneck Logic | Continued
Redneck Ingenuity – or Schizophrenic Engineering?
I know rednecks. I should. I am one generation removed from hillbillies. Around these parts people who are one generation removed must go through the redneck phase – and sometimes that phase lasts a couple of generations. I am known as a half-breed because I obtained a formal university education. Even my redneck friends will […]
5Feb2010 | Ohg Rea Tone | 3 comments | Continued
The Redneck, The Italian, and The German
A redneck an Italian and a German were captured by the French. All convicted – they were sentenced to death by the guillotine. The Italian was led to the platform and given one last opportunity say his last words. He said, “Long live Italy.” The French put his head on the block and let the […]
13Oct2009 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | Continued
Redneck Gazette –
Redneck Gazette Fifth Edition Stimulating Economics Stimulating Economics Ohmydidhesayjihad We is having some trouble figuring out what we is hearing. We got us a new President hoping that he would fix the problems this country is having. We don’t know nothing about economics. We only know that we should save more than we spend. We […]
27Jan2009 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Redneck Gazette – | Continued
Redneck Gazette – Fight the Bad Guys
Redneck Gazette Fourth Edition Get The Bad Folks > Osama Bin Laden George Bush Fails Well, Ronald Reagan said, “There you go again.” And here we go again. Osama Bin Laden, that fella what kicked our butts in New York back in 2001, is poking at us again. This time he did an audio tape […]
14Jan2009 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Redneck Gazette – Fight the Bad Guys | Continued
Redneck Gazette – Obama New President
Redneck Gazette Third Edition Punkin Center, Missouri, BR-777 Obama Wins Presidency! Obama Bring Hope A Time of Despair Obama done gone and won more votes to be the 44th President of the United States of America. And the electors in college like him best too. We was pretty sure that Obama was gonna win cause […]
4Nov2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Redneck Gazette – Obama New President | Continued
Redneck Gazette – Obama Uses Common Sense
Redneck Gazette Second Edition Punkin Center, Missouri, BR-777 Obama Uses Missouri Common Sense Fannie Mae is goin fishing We been listening to that fella Barack Obama. It sounds like he uses plain old Missouri Common Sense. Figure this out. Obama is talking about that over on Wall Street. We think that is in a big […]
3Nov2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Redneck Gazette – Obama Uses Common Sense | Continued
Redneck Gazette – Obama Gonna Win
Redneck Gazette Election Prediction Obama Gonna Be President McCain Goes Home It looks like this here election is a done deal. That fella from Illinois attracted most of the people. And we can tell you why. Because he did a better job – that is why. Some folks around here talked about him being a […]
3Nov2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Redneck Gazette – Obama Gonna Win | Continued
Missourians For Obama
Is it Missourians or Missourites? We never know. We live in Punkin Center, Missouri, and we are voting for that Chicago politician, Barack Obama. Generally we don’t take much to Chicago politicians, but this fella seems different. Down the road in St. Joe the Newspaper just came out for that McCain boy. We figured they […]
26Oct2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | 2 comments | Continued
Rednecks for Obama
We live in Missouri, rural Missouri. Down the road a piece, just over the hill and down through the holler, rests the country store. The folks like to sit around the pot belly stove and yack a bit. They only fire up the stove in the winter, but it is a comfort just to have […]
21Oct2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | 59 comments | Continued
Wanted: Leadership, Not Beer Buddies
Way back when this writer was a young man, we used to stop at the local watering hole to soak up some suds with our beer buddies. Joe Six Pack was always the first to arrive, and the last to leave. After two or three cold ones we could solve most of the world problems. […]
10Oct2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | Continued
Rednecks For Palin, Wasilla, AA
“How come we don’t got two names like my cousins in Punkin Center, Missouri?” Jed was pondering out loud. “Cause down in Missouri they all gots the same first name, they gots to have two names so’s they can tell each other apart,” responded Jeb. “Well how come my cousins down in Punkin Center is […]
1Oct2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | 2 comments | Continued
Redneck Bait Shop and Bank Loans
Bobby John scratched his beard, pondering. Then he said, “Billy Bob, you sure being quite.” Billy Bob sat behind the counter of the Bait Shop, his usual post when the boys showed up for some palaver. The stool squeaked as Billy Bob leaned on the counter, “We aint been doing so good here at the […]
29Sep2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Redneck Bait Shop and Bank Loans | Continued
Redneck War Debate
We called the television station down the road in St. Joe to ask about the debate. We wanted to know what they was gonna ask those fellas, McCain and Obama. They tode us that they is not asking any questions. Someone in one of the big cities gets to ask the questions. Well, we had […]
26Sep2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Redneck War Debate | Continued
Redneck Loan Sharks
We was run out of the general store cause we talk too much politics. So we is now hanging out at the Bait Shop. It’s good cause they expect us to lie. Bobby Joe: Where is Hank these days, ain’t seen him around much?” Bobby John: He decided to start a bank. Bobby Joe: How’d […]
22Sep2008 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Redneck Loan Sharks | Continued
Hate Crimes, revisiting the Jena 6
Son, Some people have responded in a rather angry fashion to a post I wrote on hate crimes. Some people really oppose the idea of hate crimes. But we use descriptive words like ‘hate’ to further identify and segregate a number of offenses. When a man beats his wife – it is not just assault […]
9Nov2007 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Hate Crimes, revisiting the Jena 6 | Continued
Hate Crime and the Jena 6
Son, This morning, September 28, MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough said, “I have never understood hate crime legislation, but if it makes some people feel good so be it.” That is the standard shallow line of the conservatives – and they try to act so innocent. They raise their hands in that Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin pantomime […]
28Sep2007 | Ohg Rea Tone | 8 comments | Continued