Is it Missourians or Missourites? We never know. We live in Punkin Center, Missouri, and we are voting for that Chicago politician, Barack Obama. Generally we don’t take much to Chicago politicians, but this fella seems different. Down the road in St. Joe the Newspaper just came out for that McCain boy. We figured they would – the people what owns that paper is rich. The picture over there is the cemetery.
We is just plain folks up here in Punkin Center. Nobody works in Punkin Center, we have to drive to Maryville or Clyde or Ravenwood or Stanberry – that is where the jobs are. Well, there is a general store and a bait shop here, but we don’t think of Billy Bob or Bobby John as working people – they just run their business.
We seen in the paper the other day that there was 100,000 people come out to see that Senator Obama down in St. Louis. We have never seen 100,000 people in the same place at the same time ever before. We don’t have no idea what that would be like. Where do all of those folks go to the bathroom? We have six outhouses in Punkin Center and sometimes we have to wait our turn. In the winter we just stay by the stove in the store until the outhouse is available – it is not like we have to stand out in the cold or nothing. We might be rednecks but we are not stupid.
Anyway, there is this here election going on. We have a Publican Govnor, a Publican Senator, and a Publican Congressman. They is a woman running for the Congress position, we think we will vote for her too. Now remember we told you that we has to drive to get to work? Remember that? Well, it took most of Fannie Mae’s pay check just to go to work and back this summer.
Billy Bob at the Bait Shop don’t like that much because we don’t have enough money to buy bait. We just go out at night and hunt up some night crawlers. Night crawlers is good worms – we can catch catfish or bass either one, so Billy Bob will just have to wait.
Then Bobby John over at the General Store ain’t happy cause we is catching our supper stead of buying food from him. Course, we have to get our coffee over there. Coffee don’t grow too good in Punkin Center.
We went to church last July and the preacher was all on fire about the collection being down. He said we is all going to hell if we don’t give money to the church. I tried to tell him we done gave our money to the gas station but he don’t care. We have not gone back to church since, we are waiting for the preacher to cool off. That might take to February – you never know about them preachers.
Anyway, we was about to tell you all that we is voting for that Barack Obama. Some people around here always say his middle name – but we cant remember how to say it – so we figure his other name is enough. We figure if he can get some more of them wind generators up here in the hills our electricity costs will go down. And my cousin Bobby Joe thinks he can get a job helpin to build the windmills. We figure that is a good thing.
If our electricity costs goes down then we can buy bait from Billy Bob, then Billy Bob can buy food from Bobby John, and we can sit around the pot belly stove at the store and not have to listen to them crying about being broke all the time.
We listened to that McCain fella talk on the radio. It sounded like there was two birds in the Bush.
We figure that Obama fella will make it better for us.
Bobby John wants to know, If Clyde died, would Stanberry him, no but Maryville or Ravenwood.
See: Rednecks for Obama