Culture
Another Senseless Death from Drug Addiction
Another young man from St. Joseph died this past weekend – apparently from long term drug addiction. I knew him. I knew him when he was about seven years old. I also knew his family. He was second generation drug addict. Not his parents, as far as I know, but many of his aunts and […]
2Mar2016 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
Mixed Blessings, Home Remodeling, and painting the carpet
I have been furiously cleaning house for visitors over the holidays. I am faithful about this chore, every eleven years I clean the house whether it needs it or not. This time it is so bad that I decided the best way to cover the dirt was to simply paint it. I have been painting […]
22Dec2015 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Mixed Blessings, Home Remodeling, and painting the carpet | Continued
Ben Carson Humor – 2015
Ben Carson is that neuro guy – which seems to be an enigma given his loose tongue. No matter – there are some really creative people running around with high tech opportunities to mix humor, politics, and technology. Enjoy:
9Nov2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Ben Carson Humor – 2015 | Continued
Walking the Roof of Methodist Hospital – Circa 1972
It was literally ‘the good old days’. Data Processing. No MIS or IT or IS. We processed data – and the data came in the form of punched cards. Everything was ‘batch’ processing – almost no ‘real time’ interaction. But that is an aside for the purposes of this post. This story is about walking […]
17Oct2015 | Gary Clark | 3 comments | Continued
Political Correctness – Applying Manners Across The Board
I grew up in a lower class mixed race neighborhood. At age twenty-two, with no college training, I went to work in an office, wearing a coat and tie. I was rude and crude. But I have to say that by today’s standards we were all somewhat rude and crude – times change and polite […]
14Oct2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Political Correctness – Applying Manners Across The Board | Continued
Mr. Mullinax
I was once a young man, in a land far away. Well, about two miles from where I sit today. Methodist Hospital hired me as a Computer Operator three weeks before my first child was born. Actually, Larry Koch hired me – he was the Computer Operations Manager. His boss was John Mullinax. John was […]
13Oct2015 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
Quotes from Yogi Berra
1. “It ain’t over till it’s over.” 2. “It’s deja vu all over again.” 3. “I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.” 4. “Never answer an anonymous letter.” 5. “We made too many wrong mistakes.” 6. “You can observe a lot by watching.” 7. “The future ain’t what it used to be.” […]
24Sep2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Quotes from Yogi Berra | Continued
Ladies and Gentlemen, Germans and Gents….
Another song from childhood: Ladies and gentlemen, Germans and gents, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants, I come before you because I am not behind you to tell you something I know nothing of. One bright day in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each […]
6Sep2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Ladies and Gentlemen, Germans and Gents…. | Continued
A Horse, A Flea, And Three Blind Mice
I learned this song as a child, taught it to my children and some grandchildren. A horse and a flea and the three blind mice were sitting on a tombstone rolling dice, the horse fell down and landed on the flea, oops said the flea there’s a horse on me. Boom Boom aint it great […]
6Sep2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on A Horse, A Flea, And Three Blind Mice | Continued
Hammering Bill Cosby
Judd Apatow is a comedian – with skills perhaps not equal to Bill Cosby – but astoundingly accurate when portraying the beleaguered comedian. Apatow uses Cosby’s own style to hammer home a point – a point that must be made. This routine is entirely appropriate and dead on: Here is the link
21Jul2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Hammering Bill Cosby | Continued
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick! BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period. JOHN McCAIN: My […]
12Jul2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? | Continued
When Sadness Overwhelms Us
All of us experience grief. As children we see our grand parents pass. We lose our pets, great aunts and uncles. We lose games of school sports. We fail to make the team. These are the experiences that help prepare us for the more grave loss of parents, siblings, spouses. Sadly some of lose our […]
11Jun2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on When Sadness Overwhelms Us | Continued
Blonde Jokes
“An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake… He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’ The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, […]
31May2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Blonde Jokes | Continued
Stupid Jokes (jokes about being stupid)
Captured from the internet: Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. ‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter. ‘You don’t?’ I replied. ‘We only have six, […]
31May2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Stupid Jokes (jokes about being stupid) | Continued
Puns
We picked these up from the internet: .. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. .. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. .. The batteries were given out free of charge. .. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. .. A will is a dead giveaway. .. […]
28Jan2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Puns | Continued
“It Was So Cold…” (Cold Jokes)
From the internet: It was so cold . . . we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues! It was so cold… hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs! It was so cold… roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and […]
8Jan2015 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on “It Was So Cold…” (Cold Jokes) | Continued
The Absurdy Of Private Humor
My friend has a girlfriend – she lives in another State. I assumed that refers to geography rather than a mindset. He told me that he called her and they talked for two hours. He called the next day and she reported that she is running out of minutes so she cannot talk again until […]
10Dec2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on The Absurdy Of Private Humor | Continued
Sexting, The Secret Codes of Youth
I am right up front on this one. I had no idea. But this should come as no great surprise to anyone. Perhaps a degree of initial shock – but after some brief contemplation – not surprising. R U getting this? The coded language of texting and internet chatting had to contain sexual references. Sex […]
9Dec2014 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Sexting, The Secret Codes of Youth | Continued
Thanksgiving Jokes
Gobble these up~ Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? A: Plymouth Rock Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? A: Pilgrims Q: Why can’t you take a turkey to church? A: They use FOWL language. Q: Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? A: It had 24 […]
22Nov2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | Continued
A Fan’s Guide to Baseball Lingo
From a friend’s facebook post: Baseball Basics: Lingo A fan’s guide to commonly-used terms and phrases. ace — A team’s best starting pitcher. alley– The section of the outfield between the outfielders. Also “gap.” around the horn– A double play going from third base to second to first. backdoor slider — A pitch that appears […]
26Oct2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on A Fan’s Guide to Baseball Lingo | Continued
Emotional Disturbances of a Friend
My friend is having emotional disturbances in his live – again. I recognize this as his problem – but still I feel sadness. He has lost his family over bitter disagreements about child raising. He attends a therapy group where he can talk about what happened. He reports his findings. There are several in the […]
28Jul2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Emotional Disturbances of a Friend | Continued
Golf Jokes
1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead ——————————————————————————– 2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett ——————————————————————————– 3. Actually, the only time I […]
28Jun2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | Continued
Why Immigration Today Has Racial Overtones
I know some of the folks opposed to open immigration – they are friends and relatives – people opposed to open immigration. These are people who are frustrated when anyone suggests their opinions are ‘racist’. They throw up their arms in defiance – accusing ‘those liberals of always playing the race card’. But not so […]
6Apr2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Why Immigration Today Has Racial Overtones | Continued
Surrender – Man’s Eternal Conflict
Surrender is personal. Every day we are faced with decisions that concern surrender. We surrender to traffic laws, to office protocols, to the School Evening Program of our children, to the irritable clerk at the grocery store, to unwritten codes of conduct spelled out by our particular culture. Sometimes we surrender to our base instincts […]
27Mar2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Surrender – Man’s Eternal Conflict | Continued
When My Mind is Racing
Most of the folks who read my posts recognize my natural inclination toward self-righteous sarcasm. I know that sarcasm is toxic – Mr. Clark (the Editor) tells me almost every day. Sarcasm does serve to drive home a point. But there is a cost to being the negative reflection of the world around us. And […]
24Mar2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | 2 comments | Continued
Irish Humor
One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep. “Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory” Paddy shook his head. “Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat […]
11Mar2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | Continued
Mr. Clark and Ohg Rea Tone
Last year Mr. Clark, the Editor of this magazine took away my writing privileges because he said I was too caustic. I got it. I am sarcastic – and I understand sarcasm can be toxic. I was told that I rant and rave too much. He likes my witticisms. He thinks I am clever. He […]
7Mar2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | Continued
Duck Dynasty – When Rednecks Are No Longer Funny
You might be a redneck if you go to family reunions looking for girls. Pretty funny stuff right there. God forgive me. Duck Dynasty is a reality show airing on A&E. The premise is simple – some rednecks living in the swamplands of Louisiana became rich selling hand wrought Duck calls. But, alas, they remain […]
25Dec2013 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Duck Dynasty – When Rednecks Are No Longer Funny | Continued
The Ressurection of Ohg Rea Tone
Ohg Tone and I have been friends for forty years. I first remember him when my oldest daughter was two years old. Ohg showed up and brought sarcastic humor into my family. As crude as he is – there is always a spark of humor. Ohg became a writer for thefiresidepost.com in 2007. After five […]
25Dec2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on The Ressurection of Ohg Rea Tone | Continued
A Personal Fight With Social Injustice
Most of my adult life people have treated me as if I am particularly intelligent. Some have openly called me intellectual. My thought was usually that they were mistaken, that I am well read and speak well. When I take a shower and dress in a suit I present pretty well. I did not receive […]
5Dec2013 | Gary Clark | 3 comments | Continued
Why Bother With Grammar?
I write. But that does not mean that I write correctly. I am a college graduate, but that does not mean that I use proper grammar. I write intuitively – meaning that my sense of grammar drives my structure – and I am sometimes wrong. Any sophisticated endeavor requires both art and science. The late […]
4Dec2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Why Bother With Grammar? | Continued
Redneck Christmas Shopping
Sorry folks, this is no joke. There are redneck jokes, and those jokes work because they point out the lack of sophistication of a class of people. For instance, you might be a redneck if you go to family reunions looking for girls. Humor is found in the absurd, the ludicrous, the unexpected. Redneck jokes […]
1Dec2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Redneck Christmas Shopping | Continued
Job – More Fun With Christians
DarkMatter2525 has come through again. This time with the satirical interpretation of the Book of Job. The humor is blatant, the sarcasm unveiled, the truth challenged. My view is that these folks are doing a great service to humanity. Any healthy Christian faith must recognize the absurdity of the literal interpretation of the Bible. Comments […]
26Nov2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Job – More Fun With Christians | Continued
Bible Biology – Esau and Jacob
Bible biology is always a complex matter. If there were no complexities in bearing children (like a sterile woman) what use would we have of God? Take the case of Jacob and Esau. They would not exist without the intervention of a loving God. Well, one might have to understand that God is loving but […]
26Nov2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Bible Biology – Esau and Jacob | Continued
For Miranda, A Special Granddaughter
Billy Collins is an inspirational modern poet. There is some amusing irony in this particular Colbert episode with Collins. Collins speaks to writing out of a ‘persona’. The irony is his interviewer is Colbert – a man who lives his life in a persona separate from himself. But this post is not about Colbert or […]
2Nov2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on For Miranda, A Special Granddaughter | Continued
“Life Has Killed The Dream I Dreamed”
Have you ever felt like Fantine? Remember her – that forlorn girl of Victor Hugo’s imagination? Hugo was a master of the forlorn, of les miserables. We live in an unfair world. That has been the case in my life – but life often favored me. My life was blessed with work and play, blessed […]
28Sep2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on “Life Has Killed The Dream I Dreamed” | Continued
Stupid Jokes From the Web
All of these jokes were taken directly from a facebook post. Enjoy. Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. ‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter. […]
6Sep2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Stupid Jokes From the Web | Continued
Self Pity Sarcasm
Generally speaking, sarcasm is toxic. Sarcasm poisons conversation, debate, and relationships. However!!! Once in a while sarcasm is an effective tool for dramatizing that which needs to change. Here are a few sarcastic comments on self-pity: The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck it up and Move On, and crashed into […]
18Aug2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Self Pity Sarcasm | Continued
Random Humor From the Internet
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79. I’m so happy, because I live at number 71. So it’s not too far to walk home afterwards. And it’s the same side of the street. I don’t even have to cross the road! ~~~~~ Answering […]
6Aug2013 | Gary Clark | 2 comments | Continued
Drunk Jokes II
A drunk went to a police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance i court,” said the desk officer. “No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife.” ************************************************************************************************** “My sponsor […]
5Aug2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Drunk Jokes II | Continued
Twenty Dollars for Sex
Rodney Dangerfield said he suggested he and his wife have sex like they did before they were married. She said, “OK, give me twenty dollars.” And from the net: On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her […]
26Jul2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
…The Fight Started —
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’ ‘No,’ she answered. I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’ … She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’ So I said, […]
19Jul2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on …The Fight Started — | Continued
Crude Jesus, Christmas, Church Jokes
JESUS: Jesus walks into a hotel. He hands the room clerk three nails and says, “Can you put me up for the night? I don’t care who you are, get back in the boat and help us row. I don’t care who you are, drop that cross one more time and you are out of […]
23Jun2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Crude Jesus, Christmas, Church Jokes | Continued
The Oddities of Genius
Have you ever known a genius? Genius is usually a word used to describe certain traits of intelligence. We might say a genius has a passion for learning and has unique processing capabilities. They generally show a creativity and intelligence beyond their peers. Some definitions are more fixed or measurable, like the score on an […]
15Jun2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on The Oddities of Genius | Continued
McCartney on Colbert
There is nothing we can add to this other than to say how much we appreciate Comedy Central allowing us to embed this video.
14Jun2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on McCartney on Colbert | Continued
Congress Jokes
The Democrat and the Republican Congressmen were arguing. One said, “I’ll bet you five dollars you do not even know the preamble to the Constitution. The other said, “I pledge allegiance to the United States….” The first interrupted and said, “I didn’t think you would know it,” and handed over five dollars. “He’s so conservative […]
3Jun2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Congress Jokes | Continued
Suicide – The Burden of the Village
Most of us have some experience with suicide – someone we know has taken their own life. Such a death is difficult in every possible manner. Families cry together. Distraught disbelief overwhelms us. Our emotional system is shocked to the core. We feel personally defeated. We often feel we have failed, failed our loved one […]
25May2013 | Gary Clark | 3 comments | Continued
The Cruel Hoax of Fanatics
Our dog is something of a rescue dog – she was turned over to a veterinary clinic with a gash on her head and one eye-ball literally hanging out. We took responsibility for the dog ($800 over two years). We do not know her age. Obviously we know she suffered some trauma in her life. […]
18May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on The Cruel Hoax of Fanatics | Continued
Trash Talk – The Elixir of Human Life
My predecessor at thefiresidepost.com, Ohg Rea Tone, was entertaining – if not always correct. He slung sarcasm like a pig in a sty. Mr. Tone recognized the elixir of human life was trash talk. Those moments in life when humans harmoniously agree on everything are just the one minute break between rounds. We can tell […]
18May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Trash Talk – The Elixir of Human Life | Continued
Nostalgia from the Left and the Right – Shallow Thinking Prevails
The baseball player was right about one thing – Nostalgia is not what it used to be. Rewriting history to favor any particular opinion is not new or unusual. What is different is the opportunities of expression. Social media, for example, allows for immediate dissemination of whatever nonsense is popular at the moment. Little effort […]
9May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Nostalgia from the Left and the Right – Shallow Thinking Prevails | Continued