Culture
Irish Humor
One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep. “Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory” Paddy shook his head. “Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat […]
11Mar2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | Continued
Mr. Clark and Ohg Rea Tone
Last year Mr. Clark, the Editor of this magazine took away my writing privileges because he said I was too caustic. I got it. I am sarcastic – and I understand sarcasm can be toxic. I was told that I rant and rave too much. He likes my witticisms. He thinks I am clever. He […]
7Mar2014 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | Continued
Duck Dynasty – When Rednecks Are No Longer Funny
You might be a redneck if you go to family reunions looking for girls. Pretty funny stuff right there. God forgive me. Duck Dynasty is a reality show airing on A&E. The premise is simple – some rednecks living in the swamplands of Louisiana became rich selling hand wrought Duck calls. But, alas, they remain […]
25Dec2013 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Duck Dynasty – When Rednecks Are No Longer Funny | Continued
The Ressurection of Ohg Rea Tone
Ohg Tone and I have been friends for forty years. I first remember him when my oldest daughter was two years old. Ohg showed up and brought sarcastic humor into my family. As crude as he is – there is always a spark of humor. Ohg became a writer for thefiresidepost.com in 2007. After five […]
25Dec2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on The Ressurection of Ohg Rea Tone | Continued
A Personal Fight With Social Injustice
Most of my adult life people have treated me as if I am particularly intelligent. Some have openly called me intellectual. My thought was usually that they were mistaken, that I am well read and speak well. When I take a shower and dress in a suit I present pretty well. I did not receive […]
5Dec2013 | Gary Clark | 3 comments | Continued
Why Bother With Grammar?
I write. But that does not mean that I write correctly. I am a college graduate, but that does not mean that I use proper grammar. I write intuitively – meaning that my sense of grammar drives my structure – and I am sometimes wrong. Any sophisticated endeavor requires both art and science. The late […]
4Dec2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Why Bother With Grammar? | Continued
Redneck Christmas Shopping
Sorry folks, this is no joke. There are redneck jokes, and those jokes work because they point out the lack of sophistication of a class of people. For instance, you might be a redneck if you go to family reunions looking for girls. Humor is found in the absurd, the ludicrous, the unexpected. Redneck jokes […]
1Dec2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Redneck Christmas Shopping | Continued
Job – More Fun With Christians
DarkMatter2525 has come through again. This time with the satirical interpretation of the Book of Job. The humor is blatant, the sarcasm unveiled, the truth challenged. My view is that these folks are doing a great service to humanity. Any healthy Christian faith must recognize the absurdity of the literal interpretation of the Bible. Comments […]
26Nov2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Job – More Fun With Christians | Continued
Bible Biology – Esau and Jacob
Bible biology is always a complex matter. If there were no complexities in bearing children (like a sterile woman) what use would we have of God? Take the case of Jacob and Esau. They would not exist without the intervention of a loving God. Well, one might have to understand that God is loving but […]
26Nov2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Bible Biology – Esau and Jacob | Continued
For Miranda, A Special Granddaughter
Billy Collins is an inspirational modern poet. There is some amusing irony in this particular Colbert episode with Collins. Collins speaks to writing out of a ‘persona’. The irony is his interviewer is Colbert – a man who lives his life in a persona separate from himself. But this post is not about Colbert or […]
2Nov2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on For Miranda, A Special Granddaughter | Continued
“Life Has Killed The Dream I Dreamed”
Have you ever felt like Fantine? Remember her – that forlorn girl of Victor Hugo’s imagination? Hugo was a master of the forlorn, of les miserables. We live in an unfair world. That has been the case in my life – but life often favored me. My life was blessed with work and play, blessed […]
28Sep2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on “Life Has Killed The Dream I Dreamed” | Continued
Stupid Jokes From the Web
All of these jokes were taken directly from a facebook post. Enjoy. Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. ‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter. […]
6Sep2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Stupid Jokes From the Web | Continued
Self Pity Sarcasm
Generally speaking, sarcasm is toxic. Sarcasm poisons conversation, debate, and relationships. However!!! Once in a while sarcasm is an effective tool for dramatizing that which needs to change. Here are a few sarcastic comments on self-pity: The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck it up and Move On, and crashed into […]
18Aug2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Self Pity Sarcasm | Continued
Random Humor From the Internet
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79. I’m so happy, because I live at number 71. So it’s not too far to walk home afterwards. And it’s the same side of the street. I don’t even have to cross the road! ~~~~~ Answering […]
6Aug2013 | Gary Clark | 2 comments | Continued
Drunk Jokes II
A drunk went to a police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance i court,” said the desk officer. “No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife.” ************************************************************************************************** “My sponsor […]
5Aug2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Drunk Jokes II | Continued
Twenty Dollars for Sex
Rodney Dangerfield said he suggested he and his wife have sex like they did before they were married. She said, “OK, give me twenty dollars.” And from the net: On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her […]
26Jul2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
…The Fight Started —
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’ ‘No,’ she answered. I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’ … She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’ So I said, […]
19Jul2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on …The Fight Started — | Continued
Crude Jesus, Christmas, Church Jokes
JESUS: Jesus walks into a hotel. He hands the room clerk three nails and says, “Can you put me up for the night? I don’t care who you are, get back in the boat and help us row. I don’t care who you are, drop that cross one more time and you are out of […]
23Jun2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Crude Jesus, Christmas, Church Jokes | Continued
The Oddities of Genius
Have you ever known a genius? Genius is usually a word used to describe certain traits of intelligence. We might say a genius has a passion for learning and has unique processing capabilities. They generally show a creativity and intelligence beyond their peers. Some definitions are more fixed or measurable, like the score on an […]
15Jun2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on The Oddities of Genius | Continued
McCartney on Colbert
There is nothing we can add to this other than to say how much we appreciate Comedy Central allowing us to embed this video.
14Jun2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on McCartney on Colbert | Continued
Congress Jokes
The Democrat and the Republican Congressmen were arguing. One said, “I’ll bet you five dollars you do not even know the preamble to the Constitution. The other said, “I pledge allegiance to the United States….” The first interrupted and said, “I didn’t think you would know it,” and handed over five dollars. “He’s so conservative […]
3Jun2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Congress Jokes | Continued
Suicide – The Burden of the Village
Most of us have some experience with suicide – someone we know has taken their own life. Such a death is difficult in every possible manner. Families cry together. Distraught disbelief overwhelms us. Our emotional system is shocked to the core. We feel personally defeated. We often feel we have failed, failed our loved one […]
25May2013 | Gary Clark | 3 comments | Continued
The Cruel Hoax of Fanatics
Our dog is something of a rescue dog – she was turned over to a veterinary clinic with a gash on her head and one eye-ball literally hanging out. We took responsibility for the dog ($800 over two years). We do not know her age. Obviously we know she suffered some trauma in her life. […]
18May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on The Cruel Hoax of Fanatics | Continued
Trash Talk – The Elixir of Human Life
My predecessor at thefiresidepost.com, Ohg Rea Tone, was entertaining – if not always correct. He slung sarcasm like a pig in a sty. Mr. Tone recognized the elixir of human life was trash talk. Those moments in life when humans harmoniously agree on everything are just the one minute break between rounds. We can tell […]
18May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Trash Talk – The Elixir of Human Life | Continued
Nostalgia from the Left and the Right – Shallow Thinking Prevails
The baseball player was right about one thing – Nostalgia is not what it used to be. Rewriting history to favor any particular opinion is not new or unusual. What is different is the opportunities of expression. Social media, for example, allows for immediate dissemination of whatever nonsense is popular at the moment. Little effort […]
9May2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Nostalgia from the Left and the Right – Shallow Thinking Prevails | Continued
Corresponding With an Inmate in the Missouri Department of Corrections
Geez – corresponding with an inmate in the Missouri Department of Corrections can be very rewarding – and very frustrating. I am learning the rules as we go. My friend Joey is serving time for his fourth DWI. I do not dispute the sentence – DWI is a serious offense. Driving while intoxicated is responsible […]
1May2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
12 Step Sayings, One Day at a Time
The first book under the publishing imprint of The Fireside Post is now available on Amazon.com. Search Amazon books for “12 Step Sayings” to quickly find the book. Or click here Over 720 slogans and sayings from 12 Step Programs have been organized by date – from January 1 through December 31. Easy to understand, […]
16Apr2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on 12 Step Sayings, One Day at a Time | Continued
Drunk Jokes
A local City Council is thinking of closing the bars earlier. If you can’t get drunk by midnight you are not trying. A man should learn that martinis and a woman’s breasts have a lot in common. One isn’t enough and three is too many. A man recently went on a drinking man’s diet. He […]
15Mar2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Drunk Jokes | Continued
Men Jokes
A man is happily married. He has a wife who works while he stays home, a wife who cooks, and a wife who has sex like rabbits – Hopefully they will never meet. Some men say they can understand women. They are either psychiatrists or in need of one. A dietician was lecturing on the […]
15Mar2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
Grand Canyon Toenails and Grease Bombs
Like humans, the Colorado River traverses the path it carved. The Grand Canyon is the ultimate in manifest Karma. A harsh, brutal, climate created some of the greatest wonders on this planet. For some reason people like to go there. We like to float down the river. We like the danger of the rapids, the […]
7Mar2013 | Gary Clark | 1 comment | Continued
Physician Jokes
Doctors are brilliant. They cure poor people faster. My doctor told me I had two weeks to live. I hope they are not in August. The receptionist said, “Let me get your medical history. Do you pay your bills on time?” When a doctor wants a consultation that means he is calling in an accomplice. […]
2Mar2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Physician Jokes | Continued
Golf Jokes
A very fine young woman once said, “Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a handsome young golfing partner. You can keep the clubs and the fresh air.” If you have a hard time meeting new people just try picking up the wrong golf ball. “I’ll bet there are people worse at golf than me.” […]
28Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Golf Jokes | Continued
Choosing the Right Coffee House
To get started in finding the right experience with coffee, you have to choose a coffee house. This is important because there are a lot of coffee houses out there that are expensive and cushy, but do not fall into the “micro-brew” coffee house category. Micro-brew coffee shops will roast their own coffees on the […]
21Feb2013 | bryan | 1 comment | Continued
Farm Jokes
I met a farmer who was a magician. He turned a cow into a field. We were in the country, standing by wishing well. My wife fell in. I had no idea those things really worked. What this country needs is a lie detector that seed catalogs can take. We tried mating cows and mules […]
18Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Farm Jokes | Continued
Famous Last Words
I don’t burn. I tan. Is there anything that I can do? General Custer commanded, “Men, don’t take any prisoners!” If you had any brains or ambition you would not be a traffic policeman. Give me a match, I think the tank is empty. Take off your clothes, the doctor will be with you in […]
15Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Famous Last Words | Continued
Elephant Jokes
Why does the elephant wear red sneakers.? So he can hide in the strawberry patch. How do you get six elephants in a Ford Focus? Three in the front and three in the back. Why do elephants have flat feet? So they can stand on marshmallows. Why do elephants stand on marshmallows? So they won’t […]
15Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Elephant Jokes | Continued
Ego Humor
He’s not egotistical. He just loves intelligent people. He collects his own autographs. Some people think they know everything. They irritate those of us who do. His marriage was a triangle: Him, his wife, and him. He never takes a hot shower, it clouds his mirror. He found his better half in a mirror. Fall […]
15Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Ego Humor | Continued
Celebrating Ignorance In Missouri
Ok, I admit, I live in Missouri. For many years I justified this existence by saying I was close to my family. That defense is losing ground. Missouri is not an unusual “Red State” (meaning it votes new age Republican). My thought is that Missouri is representative of that whole block of right wing fanatics […]
1Feb2013 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Celebrating Ignorance In Missouri | ContinuedBearing the Sword of Justice
I am Aries, born under Mars. I swing a heavy sword, the heavy sword of justice. The sword strikes at ignorance, at injustice, at human frailty. A child is threatened. Captured by the rogue of the closed mind. The child, once destined for greatness, becomes the rogue. Small town America, a bastion of self righteous […]
17Jan2013 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Bearing the Sword of Justice | Continued
Jef Foxworthy on Being a Missourian
(This was taken in its entirety from an email). Missouri according to Jeff Foxworthy: If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t even work there, you may live in Missouri. If you’ve worn shorts and a jacket at the same time, you may live in Missouri. … If you’ve had […]
5Jan2013 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Jef Foxworthy on Being a Missourian | Continued
The Stuppy & Clark Expeditionary Force
Bryan Stuppy, LISW, LADAC, a leading psychologist in New Mexico, has asked me to join him on an Expeditionary Force to study the effects of primal living in a nomadic tribal environment. The ruse has been established. The ‘tribe’ thinks they are to study the effects of man-made flooding in the Grand Canyon. In reality […]
9Nov2012 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on The Stuppy & Clark Expeditionary Force | Continued
Old Men Walking, And Falling Down
I am a senior. That is the life designation we get when we are between middle age and elderly. My health is generally good. I walk about three miles every day and as a result I take no medications for any heart or respiratory conditions. But walking of late has become a treacherous proposition. I […]
23Oct2012 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Old Men Walking, And Falling Down | Continued
Who Am I? Searching for the Modern Identity
I am liberal, angry, Aries, impatient, intolerant, loving, forceful, kind, intense, educated, brother, son, father, grandfather, friend, forgiving, humble, proud. Which defines me? Any? All? Am I modern? Post-modern? And who are you? To whom do I answer? What philosophy? Religion? Country? Club? We live in a complex world, a fast world requiring quick judgement […]
13Oct2012 | Ohg Rea Tone | 2 comments | Continued
Looking For James Bond
The mystique of James Bond has come out of a three decades slump. All of the bad guys in the world have heard of 007 – but only the most evil of criminal minds have had the misfortune of making Bond’s acquaintance. So what is it about this mystique that continues to enthrall the movie […]
31Jul2012 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Looking For James Bond | Continued
Courtroom Humor
This was copied from a facebook post. We fid humor to be refreshing – humor helps keep our sanity from a complete meltdown. Enjoy. HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES???? These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down […]
9May2012 | Gary Clark | Comments Off on Courtroom Humor | Continued
“Never Brag On Your Children”
A relevant post revisited: December, 2009. Parenting can sometimes feel like a complex endeavor – especially when the child is not cooperating. When the child is failing to meet expectations, to make the grade in school, to make the basketball team, to identify future aspirations – whatever – parents can become frustrated. And that frustration […]
22Apr2012 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | Continued
Atticus Finch Killed A Dog!
Is context important? Atticus Finch was a lawyer who defended a black man charged with raping a white woman. The locals were pretty angry with Atticus. And angry people will do just about anything to discredit the perceived source of their unhappiness. Imagine the headlines in the morning paper after Atticus shot the rabid dog. […]
10Apr2012 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on Atticus Finch Killed A Dog! | Continued
Trayvon and Black on Black Violence
NOTE TO READERS: This post originally contained a racist cartoon image at the top right. Some found it offensive and we agreed. We removed the image and apologize for any hurt. The new picture is of HELL – which is where I am going if I don’t change my ways. I have a facebook friend, […]
27Mar2012 | Ohg Rea Tone | 2 comments | Continued
People at Wal-Mart Video
I can not help it. Most of these pictures were taken at the South Belt Wal-Mart in St. Joseph, Missouri. Two of the people are my siblings – but I will not say which.
1Mar2012 | Ohg Rea Tone | 1 comment | Continued
More Thoughts on American Education
The internet is an enigma. So is youtube. While having the power to distribute information with immediacy to all corners of the world – The shortcuts sometimes ignore legitimate research. But today we will use youtube to demonstrate the troubles with American education. My own experience with American education comes in four basic contexts: my […]
3Feb2012 | Ohg Rea Tone | Comments Off on More Thoughts on American Education | Continued